Never has the cliche “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” been more appropriate than while watching Hoarders.

A new season of the A&E documentary series kicked off last night, and while we’ve watched all the previous installments, we continue to be amazed at the things people refuse to part with.

Last night, viewers were treated to the domestic stylings of Janet and Phyllis, both of whom were in jeopardy of being reported to Adult Protective Services if they did not correct the conditions of their homes immediately.

The biggest monkey on Phyllis’ back was her extensive (and creepy) doll collection, which filled every room of her home. These were not rare or special dolls, but pretty much any doll that she had laid eyes upon during the past two  decades. She even had a “doll hospital,” a room containing toys with missing parts and limbs, some of which she had “amputated to give to another doll.”

When the dolls were removed from her home, they filled two ginormous dump trucks — the kind you see hauling stuff away from construction sites.

With numerous bouts of maniacal laughter, she kept proclaiming, “I just keep thinking about their little smiles.”

But that was child’s play compared to Janet’s home, which hadn’t had usable plumbing for years. Therapists and organizers (who said they’d seen homeless people with more sanitary living conditions) found numerous jugs containing urine and used adult diapers. As one of her Janet’s sons toured her home, he stepped through piles of garbage, and announced, “I think I just stepped in fresh poop.”

Among other things, Janet had a hard time parting with 10-year-old cosmetics and expired food that had been buried in mouse droppings.
In the end, some 10,000 pounds of garbage was removed from her home.

We watch so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Tags: hoarders