Questions Raised by the Sorcerer’s Apprentice Trailer

We were watching the trailer for Disney’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice the other day, and while we don’t like to question the great and mysterious workings of Hollywood, we do have some concerns about this particular film. Take a look at the trailer, posted below, and see if you don’t agree.

10 Questions Raised By the Trailer for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

1. It starts with Nicolas Cage saying, “Everything you thought you knew about the world is about to change.” Has Nicolas Cage ever appeared in a film where he didn’t say this?

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2. Does Jay Baruchel‘s voice sound more like Gilbert Gottfried, Richard Dreyfuss, or an unholy combination of the two?

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3. The love interest in this film looks exactly like Bella from the Twilight movies, except that she occasionally smiles. Was the actress urged to smile more often so that audiences wouldn’t mistake her for Kristen Stewart?

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4. A nerdy college student studying science fights Alfred Molina in New York City. Why would you go out of your way to remind us of Spider-Man 2 when your movie surely is not as good?

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5. You’re a sorcerer. You’re immortal, you have magical powers. What do you need an apprentice for? To run errands? To pick up your wizard robes from the dry cleaners?

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6. A giant bull, a huge metal eagle, and a terrifying dragon are all clearly visible here. Even taking into account New Yorkers’ famous nonchalance, isn’t it likely that one or more of these fantastical creations would attract attention, and possibly be robbed?

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7. Does Nicolas Cage know how crazy he is, like Christopher Walken does? Or does he think people still take him seriously, like Robert De Niro does?

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8. The part where the girl says, “Something about you seems different,” and the guy says, “I’m a sorcerer,” and the girl says, “Well, that’s new” — that makes you want to never see the movie, right?

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9. Why would the “plasma bolt” be a sorcerer’s “weapon of choice” when guns are so much more efficient and easier to come by? This kid looks like he has trouble learning how to throw plasma bolts, but I bet he could pick up on firing a gun pretty fast.

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10. Has there ever been a Disney-produced family film in which every character made it to the end without being hit in the crotch? Is this even possible, mathematically?

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Tags: Jay baruchel, Nicolas cage, The sorcerer's apprentice