March at the Movies

March at the movies can be tricky. For every solid film we’re given, (300 or How to Train Your Dragon come to mind) it’s just as likely we’ll see an over-hyped and slightly lackluster effort a la Watchmen or 10,000 B.C..

As such, to get yourself fully prepared we’ve got a look at each of the trailers, followed directly by our award-winning divination skills. Enjoy!

Note: Films chronological by week, wide releases only.

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The Adjustment Bureau

Release Date: March 4

Positives: Matt Damon has a solid track record.

Negatives: It looks like Sliding Doors meets The Game? I suppose that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Overall Chance of Success: 85 percent, because the director is one of the writers behind The Bourne Ultimatum.

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Beastly

Release Date: March 4

Positives: Rumor has it Alex Pettyfer is the new “it” guy.

Negatives: The concept looks a bit stale.

Overall Chance of Success: 20 percent. Teen movies are in a downward spiral.

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Rango

Release Date: March 4

Positives: Johnny Depp! Pirates of the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski!

Negatives: It’s only Johnny Depp’s voice, because it’s animated, and it doesn’t say “Pixar” anywhere on it.

Overall Chance of Success: 70 percent. Depp’s comedic chops will save the day.

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Take Me Home Tonight

Release Date: March 4

Positives: I think I enjoy the trailer?

Negatives: It’s been delayed forever.

Overall Chance of Success: 10 percent, because, given the cast, it should have been a slam dunk … and not a delayed dunk.

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Battle: Los Angeles

Release Date: March 11

Positives: Movies about alien invasions are almost always entertaining.

Negatives: Will the effects be enough to sustain the whole movie?

Overall Chance of Success: 75 percent. I’m optimistic they are going to pull this off.

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Mars Needs Moms

Release Date: March 11

Positives: Joan Cusack is the official mother figure of Film.com.

Negatives: I don’t believe that Mars actually needs moms.

Overall Chance of Success: 34 percent, though it will likely work for the intended younger demographic.

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Red Riding Hood

Release Date: March 11

Positives: Catherine Hardwicke, director of Lords of Dogtown!

Negatives: Catherine Hardwicke, director of Twilight.

Overall Chance of Success: 40 percent. The visuals look solid, but the story likely won’t get there.

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Limitless

Release Date: March 18

Positives: Bradley Cooper is heating up, and the usage of Kanye in the trailer works.

Negatives: De Niro has been taking on strange roles lately.

Overall Chance of Success: 55 percent. Call me optimistic, I think this one could prove fun.

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The Lincoln Lawyer

Release Date: March 18

Positives: Ryan Phillippe was solid in Cruel Intentions.

Negatives: The trailer hints at rapid tonal shifts.

Overall Chance of Success: 25 percent, as there’s zero chance March 18 features two sleek thrillers.

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Paul

Release Date: March 18

Positives: There aren’t enough alien comedies, and Pegg and Frost are comedy gold.

Negatives: They’ll likely have to pivot to “serious” movie mode near the end.

Overall Chance of Success: 44 percent on the first viewing, 60 percent on the second, 85 percent by the third time through.

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Sucker Punch

Release Date: March 25

Positives: The images from the film look stunning.

Negatives: The story from the film seems nonexistent.

Overall Chance of Success: 40 percent. Snyder has a gifted visual eye … but his writing isn’t all there yet.

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

Release Date: March 25

Positives: Finally, the throngs of Diary of a Wimpy Kid fans will be quieted by a sequel.

Negatives: The feces jokes are featured right up front.

Overall Chance of Success: 7 percent, at least for adults.

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Tags: March movies, Paul, Sucker punch, Trailers