Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Live Diary — 2010

Laremy Legel November 30, 2010

Model Erin Heatherton walks the runway during the 2010 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 10, 2010.

9:39pm: We’re only 20 minutes away! But first, another award-winning episode of NCIS!

9:55pm: I just tried to think up the amount of money I’d pay to watch Andy Rooney host the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and I settled on $100. I think that’s a fair price for 40 minutes of programming that would never be topped. Your move, CBS.

9:58pm: Ooh, a Warrior’s Way trailer. They aren’t screening that one, always a good sign. Occasionally, when you’ve made a great film, you’ve got to hide the final product from critics.

10:01pm: 34 models in the house? How will I learn everyone’s name? Will there be time to ask them all what their sign is?

10:02pm: The most beautiful women on Earth are all here! Well, that’s what microphone voice guy says. I’m sure various Vegas establishments would beg to differ.

10:02pm: As per usual, this is being treated with all the self-importance of a shuttle launch. Is Akon ready? Go! Go! Go! I’m just happy that, in this down economy, a few folks out there say “You know what? We’re just gonna throw tons of flesh and music on stage and call it good.” You almost have to admire how very sincere that sort of notion is, don’t you?

10:02pm: This is all pre-taped, but it feels live because everyone keeps shouting “Go!” to the models.

10:03pm: Gerard Butler is in the front row, because he loves fashion.

10:03pm: Vin Diesel is in the front row, because he loves shows of any kind, especially those involving secrets.

10:04pm: Candice is the “last girl out” on the runway which angers me because I had Erin Heatherton in the office pool.

10:04pm: They just shouted “Last model walking!” like she was on The Green Mile. That was followed up by “We need a quick change here!”

Why do you need a quick change? You are taping this. You have hours. Didn’t you guys rehearse? Isn’t there a schedule? Can’t you just make the audience wait a few minutes so the models don’t maim themselves with underwire?

10:05pm: As it turns out, the girls all love and support each other. Which is why it’s going to be such a cruel twist of fate when two are chosen to fight to the death, wearing battle armor and eight-foot high wings.

10:05pm: The Angels are taking turns talking about how hot the other Angels are. What’s interesting is they are all sexy in different ways. Tomboy, naughty lady, girl next door, sexy nurse, lion tamer, beekeeper

Okay, I made the last three up.

10:08pm: I like Katy Perry. I like her hubby, Russ Brand, too. The producers yell at her band to get ready, but now I don’t even see a band onstage. Those fellas just got yelled at for nothing.

10:09pm: Previous Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show musical acts include Justin Timberlake, Seal, The Black-Eyed Peas, and Usher. Personally, I’d like to see Michael Buble rock this joint.

10:16pm: Candice tells us how stressful the fashion show is. From what I can piece together, it’s considered way more stressful than plain ol’ normal walking sans lingerie.

10:17pm: Do they even sell the wings at the store?

10:18pm: I swear to God, if one more person yells at Alessandra to “Go! Go! Go!” they will face my wrath. She’s fragile, leave her alone you tyrants!

10:19pm: I’m glad they are playing a Jewel track here. It goes without saying that her work was meant to empower the most attractive amongst us.

10:21pm: Remember that fantasy you had about a model beating you to death with boxing gloves? We now have the technology to make that happen. Your big day has finally arrived.

10:23pm: A Paris Hilton sighting and model with a barbell hits the stage. They are wrapping up the “sports” segment, which is a shame, as we were just about to get to the javelin.

10:33pm: Akon performs and winged Angel Chanel makes her entrance. It’s a pretty special moment for everyone.

10:34pm: I can’t help but wonder which of these Angels would be the most aerodynamic.

10:36pm: Give the Fashion Show team one thing — they communicate with each other in a big way. Model coming out? They’ll tell you. Model completed her walk? Tell somebody!

To the layperson it might look as though people are just walking in a straight line, but there are around 50 people monitoring each and every move. If one of these ladies falters, even a little bit, I’m guessing the team will be on her with stun guns … because everyone knows that once an Angel stumbles you’ve got to put her down. It’s sad, really, but they are never the same once they’ve turned a heel.

10:46pm: I want to apply for the job of “glitter thrower.” I thrive in high pressure situations involving 34 models.

10:52pm: Katy Perry is the best performer they’ve had, because it is way less creepy to have a strong female vocalist out there. If they get Lady Gaga for next year I’d even be willing to watch C.S.I. prior to the broadcast.

10:57pm: Finale time! All 34 models on stage at once! Pandemonium. The models don’t want to leave! And who can blame them? Wearing wings in the outside world just gets you locked up.

10:59pm: Aaaaaaand … that’s a wrap. It’s been real. Thanks for reading, don’t forget to tip your bartender, and practice safe wing-wearing. You can never be too careful.

Need more live blogging in your life? Consider reading previous Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Live Diaries. Collect them all!

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Live Diary — 2009

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Live Diary — 2008

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Live Diary — 2006