Two and a Half Men began its second life Monday night to the sort of ratings numbers that regular series TV simply doesn’t get anymore, getting its biggest audience ever at about 27 million viewers, (this for a series that has been the highest-rated sitcom on television during most of its run), and outdrawing Dancing With the Stars, typically the highest-rated show in any given fall week, by an estimated nine million viewers.

Unquestionably, millions of people who have never been regular viewers tuned in especially to see exactly how the Charlie Harper/Charlie Sheen legacy would be laid to rest, and to see how Ashton Kutcher handled himself in his debut episode. CBS has to be thrilled about the ratings, even if things are bound to settle down in the coming weeks. And if those who liked what they saw Monday outnumber those Sheen fans who swore off Two and a Half Men after the Warlock’s epic flameout, the show may thrive for years longer, regardless of what critics say.

The episode began with a shot of a closed casket at the funeral of Charlie Harper. Along with friends, family, and drug suppliers, dozens of Charlie’s women we’ve met over the years were present also, to share precious memories and stories of venereal diseases. While it was surmised that Chuck Lorre might concoct a spectacular, undignified demise for Charlie (and by extension the other Charlie), the actual scenario was more mundane: he ended up proposing to loony Rose, who pushed him in front of a Metro train in Paris after discovering him showering with another woman.

Casa Charlie hit the market – among the prospective buyers for the home were John Stamos, possibly playing himself; and Jenna Elfman and Thomas Gibson, who were definitely playing Dharma and Greg (a Lorre show). Brother Alan (Jon Cryer) faced the question of where he’d be going next, until spotting Walden Schmidt (Kutcher) lurking in his window (a surprise which caused Alan to hurl Charlie’s ashes all over the room, to be picked up later by a Dustbuster – OK, I suppose that is undignified). Walden turned out to be a suicidal billionaire who was jolted out of depression after meeting a pair of young honeys under Alan’s unwitting tutelage.

The episode ended with Walden announcing he wanted to buy the beachfront home, but left open the question of how it is that Alan and son Jake wind up hanging around as the other one and a half men. It also failed to establish Walden as funny in his own right – not that that’s the fault of Kutcher, who has proven sitcom chops. It’s hard to imagine even a series as unapologetically raunchy as this one is going to have Kutcher walking around naked every week, and imply that his penis is essentially another whole character. Lorre and company are going to have to get a handle on these new relationships in a hurry, while they still have everyone’s attention.

Tags: ashton kutcher, cbs, charlie sheen, chuck lorre, jenna elfman, john stamos, jon cryer, thomas gibson, two and a half men