Maisy Fernandez September 29, 2011
If there’s one thing we’ve learned from watching reality TV, it’s that you don’t need an English degree to be cast on a show. Heck, you really don’t even need to know what a dictionary is, for that matter. And it’s only getting worse.
It used to be that folks would toss out incorrect words because they were trying to sound smart, but didn’t know exactly the proper word to use. Now, reality-speak has almost become its own language because people are making up words left and right. Some of it’s funny, some of it is annoying, but all of it makes for pretty hilarious TV.
Here are our picks for the best and funniest made-up words uttered by reality TV stars. (What did we leave out that you love? Let us know in the comments section below!)
CONVERSATE — To converse.
Generally used by ignoramuses on trashy dating shows like Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, A Shot at Love, etc., as well as programs such as I Love Money and Bad Girls Club. It’s one of our pet peeves, but it had to be included because we hear it just about once a week.
Example: “Me and him are gonna conversate right before I give him a lap dance.”
ROMANTICAL — Romantic.
So, we looked this up in our dictionary, and much to our dismay, it was THERE. But we’re not counting it because, much like conversate, the only time we’ve ever heard it used is out of the mouths of morons. Why add the extra syllable when ‘romantic’ is a real and accepted word?
Example: “Oh, Ronnie, this restaurant is so romantical. I’m glad we could come here before we end up in a huge argument later tonight.”
SMUSH — To hook up with; to fornicate.
Brought to the masses by the Jersey Shore clan, this word is funny because it sounds like something you do to grapes or mashed potatoes. On the surface, totally innocent … until you hear it used in context.
Example: “Jenni, I’m not gonna wear panties with this miniskirt because I plan to smush tonight.”
COLLABORHATE — Short for collaborative hate. It’s when a group gangs up on another person or smaller group (see: any competitive reality show where people get kicked off). See also: collaborhating.
I can’t remember for sure, but I think I first heard this term used on Big Brother. I was actually kind of stunned that someone knew a four-syllable word like “collaborate,” which is why it stood out to me.
Example: “We need to collaborhate and convince people to vote Susie out next.”
INGREDIENTSES — Ingredients.
To be fair, we could probably do an entire story on the ways that Teresa Giudice on The Real Housewives of New Jersey has butchered the English language and battered every cliche she’s ever tried to utter. But to us, ingredientses — which she has said on a number of occasions — is by far her worst attempt at speaking. First, my two-year-old knows the proper way to pronounce ‘ingredients’ and its meaning. Second, and most ludicrous, TERESA HAS AUTHORED TWO COOKBOOKS and still uses this word as though it’s totally commonplace.
Example: “I don’t like to use a lot of ingredientses in my recipes.”
SWACKED — To have one’s swagger jacked by another person.
Mostly, we like this word — courtesy of the Jersey Shore crew — because it combines two other slang words to make a brand new one.
Example: “He copied my entire personality, bro. I just got swacked!”
TWINNING — Getting two twins to come home with you + Charlie Sheen’s much-ballyhooed use of “winning!” = Twinning. Must be heavily emphasized when used.
The Jersey Shore group aren’t the brightest planets in the orbit, but they do come up with some bang-up slang terms. At one point during the current season, it looked as though Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was gonna score himself a sweet threesome with a doublicious duo, until one of his twins hopped into bed with two of his other roommates. Close, but no cigar.
Example: “I was almost *Twinning!* until I got swacked by Deena.”
WACKADOODLE — Lunatic; a crazy person.
As far as we know, this phrase was coined by ex-Real Housewife of New York, Bethenny Frankel, who now stars in Bethenny Ever After. It is fun to say, and we endorse its regular use in the world at large.
Example: “Once I got to know her, I realized she was a wackadoodle.”
MANTRUM — A temper tantrum thrown by a male.
Normally used to insult a dude who gets super upset over something trivial.
Example: “Did you see David’s mantrum? He was practically crying over losing that challenge.”
TANOREXIC — No matter how tan you are, it’s never dark enough.
This favorite has popped up everywhere from dating shows to Real Housewives of New Jersey and Jersey Shore (notice any connection there?) to various modeling competitions. Apparently, nobody’s afraid of a little thing called skin cancer.
Example: “I’m a total tanorexic because tan fat looks better than pale fat.”
Did we leave out a word that you love? Let us know in the comments section below!
Categories: TVTags: Bethenny ever after, Bethenny frankel, Jersey shore, Real housewives of new jersey, Reality TV, Teresa giudice