The so-called “War On Terror” has been dragging on for, what, six years now? Maybe we’re safer; maybe we’re not. One thing is certain: the war hasn’t done much for the entertainment industry. Sure, we’ve seen a few exhilarating series of 24 and in the last year, maybe a dozen War-on-Terror-related films (Syriana, Lions for Lambs, etc), but nothing so far has compared to the genius inspired by the Cold War. Vlad Putin, if you’re reading, can you help a former enemy out?

Recently, I found myself stalking former Cold War spies for a cover feature for my writing day job. They’re surprisingly easier to uncover than you’d think. Or, at the very least, you could say that tracking down a dozen retired agents took me less than a third of the time it would take to watch the entire 105-episode complete collection of The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Time Life just released the 41-DVD collection of remastered episodes in a slick, secret-agent cardboard briefcase. Retailing at $249.95, the box set isn’t really marketed for the passing enthusiast (though, it is the perfect Xmas gift for your friendly neighborhood pre-Daniel-Craig 007 obsessive), but you’d be doing yourself an injustice if you didn’t rent the two-part premiere to season two, “The Alexander the Greater Affair.”

Once upon a time, Rip Torn was a young man and by that, I mean, he was once in his 30s. Somewhere along the line he fell into the quirky-old-man-who-throws-monkey-wrenches-at-Vince-Vaughn typecasting, but in 1965 he was a talented young actor who could hold is own as a demented evil mastermind.

The first time we’re really introduced to Torn’s Alexander, he’s roasting marshmallows over an incense burner in front of a monstrous pagan idol in his living room. So awesome. He’s just stolen a super secret experimental chemical weapon developed by the US Army: a gas that can suppress a population’s will to resist.

But first, Alexander plans to violate all 10 Commandments one-by-one so he can begin his conquest as the most immoral man in history. That, of course, is a bad idea, giving Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, the men from U.N.C.L.E. time to thwart his plan.

Played by Robert Vaughn, Solo’s the portrait of debonair; he waves his gun as naturally as his femme fatales counterparts might gesture with cigarettes. He can shoot backwards and upside down from between his legs with as deadly precision as he can land a tasteful one-liner after he’s karate-chopped an evil thug.

I plan to name my firstborn, boy or girl, after Illya, the show’s token Russian played by Scottish actor Scotsman David McCallum (best known for his melodramatic death performance in the Great Escape). Perhaps the quickest way to get yourself onto Illya’s sh*tlist, is to describe him as Solo’s sidekick. First of all, a man named “Solo” can’t actually have a sidekick without becoming an oxymoron. Second: though Illya serves as the straight man to Solo’s smug alpha male, he’s a force unto himself. He’s young; he’s sarcastic; he’s the action man behind the scenes.

By the end of the first episode, the two find themselves at Alexander’s mercy, stuck inside a booby-trapped ancient Greek temple. Illya’s suspended over a bottomless pit and candles are quickly eating through his rope. Meanwhile, Solo’s strapped to a table and about to be vivisected by a scimitar on a pendulum.

Do they escape? Of course. How? Oh, wouldn’t you and Rip Torn like to know? You’ll just have to schedule an illicit rendezvous with the local Blockbuster video agent. Alternatively, you can buy this new set here.