Longtime readers of this space may recall that I don't get The Hills. This goes beyond not being part of the show's target demographic--Desperate Housewives and Greek aren't made for me either, but I like them or at least can understand why others do. But watching college-age people of no particular distinction not only playing themselves, but coming across as thoroughly unconvincing while doing so (Hi, Audrina. How was your summer, Spencer?), is not my idea of a good TV time. And yet, it remains MTV's most popular show, so who's the one out of touch? Sigh.

The fourth season of The Hills starts tonight (10 PM) and picks up more or less where we left off (the show really hasn't been gone very long). Lauren's friendship with Audrina is still in a state of flux. Whitney is now in the job market for real, a good idea since she's the one cast member who is never on the magazine covers. And Heidi and Spencer continue to emit the same amount of chemistry you'd get if you put a wet blanket on top of a damp mop. It's a 20-episode season, so turn off your minds, relax and float downstream with the gang.

Olympics Highlights: In prime time on NBC (8 PM), we'll be getting more gymnastics individual event finals, including Nastia Liukin on the uneven bars. How come she gets to wear a pink uniform? There's no pink in our flag! Track events that feature likely American medalists include the men's 400M hurdles and the women's pole vault. The steeplechase will also be run, and that's always fun to watch. There is trampoline in the Olympics these days, and the women's final is tonight. And the beach volleyball team of May-Treanor and Walsh move closer to gold.

I Want to Work For Diddy (VH1, Monday 9 PM): Some of the candidates find themselves making an impromptu trip to Paris to find a particular model, who they must convince to return to New York with them. Convincing someone who speaks another language to join the Diddy harem--how hard can that really be? Back at home base, the others are tasked with creating a print ad campaign for Diddy's designer eyewear.

Thank You, Mr. President: Helen Thomas at the White House (HBO, 9 PM): There's not much more to this week's documentary than an interview with the ageless reporter, who has been around long enough to have covered director Rory Kennedy's uncle when he was president.

The Closer (TNT, 9 PM): The disappearance of a 12 year-old boy presents a puzzle for Brenda, as she can't determine whether he's been kidnapped or simply run away from home. Speaking as a former 12 year-old boy, my ratio of running away to kidnappings was at least 1,000 to one. Wait: it was two.

Into the Unknown With Josh Bernstein (Discovery, 10 PM): This new series features Bernstein in a search for the truth behind what we think we know about the past. Tonight, he investigates the myth and the reality behind gladiators, which includes visits to key parts of the Roman world. The key to this show is Bernstein himself, who is one good-looking dude.

Saving Grace (TNT, 10 PM): When a woman is murdered and her son turns up missing, the squad works to find the boy, and center on the boy's father as a likely suspect. Also, Ham copes with the bad news from the war front.

The Girls Next Door (E!, 10 PM): This episode is timed to the release of the movie House Bunny, as we see the girls and Hef filming their parts. The movie is about a woman who gets tossed out of the mansion and has to go live in a sorority house. So basically, it's the same thing without the 85 year-old man in the robe.

The Middleman (ABC Family, 10 PM): Wendy and the Middleman are concerned that an upcoming auction of Vlad the Impaler artifacts could inspire vampires, and their fears are borne out when a possessed puppet escapes and has an encounter with Lacey. To be honest, your basic everyday puppet freaks me out more than vampires do.

Weeds (Showtime, 10 PM): Celia's rapid downward spiral gets to the intervention stage; Nancy learns more about the many uses of the tunnel; Shane puts some of his new sexual curiosity to good use; and Andy manages to find the "Mermex."

Luke's Parental Advisory (Showtime, 10:30 PM): Luke thinks his son isn't quite enough of a playa, so he gets the teen to wear an earpiece so he can coach him as he tries to make a move on girls. This show is already recycling old plot lines from Ozzie and Harriet.

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