So, if you all have taken just a little time off from clubbing at Les Deux and folding clothes at People's Revolution, you'll notice that there's a major election going on. Turns out that our favorite gals on The Hills are unlikely allegories for our current political viewpoints. But I'll bet you already figured that out.

Heidi: Wants to do her own thing, doesn't want anyone to tell her not to date Spencer. Not her mother, not Lauren, not anyone. A metaphor for the presence of big government meddling where they shouldn't? We think so. Sure, she is a modern woman with a big girl job and a big girl apartment, but at the heart she is all about traditional female values, like always obeying her man.

Lauren: The great uniter! She's constantly trying to unite different sides and make everyone happy, from making Lo and Audrina get along to trying to get the gang to accept Stephanie. Yet she alienates most of the people around her with her condescending advice and actions. Yup, sounds like a Democrat to me!

Audrina: She just wants to do her own thing, hang out with her own friends, have her own guesthouse and not let anyone tell her what to do. Justin Bobby treats her like crap, but it's her own choice. Lo, stop acting like the federal government and mandating if she can hang out with Lauren or not. Audrina's individualistic Libertarian stance makes us proud. If Audrina wants to carry a gun, dammit, she should be able to buy a Louis Vuitton one.

Whitney: Being the only one that actually seems to do her job, she's the shining beacon of the Socialist party. The thing about socialism is that everyone around you kind of also needs to subscribe to it; Whitney's S-O-L. Good luck in eliminating the class system, Whit.

Meanwhile, this week, Heidi is mourning the loss of Lauren, who was like the greatest friendship of her life. I'll bet it was; it was a friendship that landed Heidi a spot in reality show history. Heidi spouts off to co-workers, siblings, and whoever else signed a release to be on this show.

Wait a minute -- something amazing is happening -- Lauren has homework! Although it seems to involve cutting out pictures of fashion models and making a collage, but hey, it's homework!

Lauren and Lo and Holly (Heidi's sister) hang out at an overdressed and overhyped bar and talk more about Heidi. Lo doesn't even try to hide her annoyance. Holly goes home and convinces Holly to write Lauren a letter.

Lauren has the choice to respond to Heidi's letter or ignore it and move on. But, since she is on her own reality show, she prances around with it and uses it as an excuse to have others talk about her and Heidi. She obnoxiously tosses it on Whitney's desk at work, as if Whitney would care about nothing else. I'm also surprised that Heidi can write in full sentences. And she signs it with her full name, as if Lauren would be all, "Heidi who?". Lauren tells us nothing new; she wants to be friends with Heidi but can't be friends with someone who spreads rumors that she has made a sex tape. Geesh, get over it Lauren, even TMZ wasn't that interested! Lauren will never be friends with Heidi if Spencer is still in the picture. This, folks, is what we call dramatic tension.

Meanwhile, in the most boring subplot ever, Audrina tries dating other people, including this one guy named Colin who looks like the love child of Doug and Justin. Or it may actually be the guy that Whitney dated in New York; they think we won't notice. He's a total tool and Audrina talks about Justin the entire time so they both totally screw up that date. Audrina hangs out with Justin and tells him she's dating, and he doesn't seem to care as much as last week's previews led us to think. Sadly, I still find Justin to be mildly attractive. Audrina says she will never like anyone else until she gets over Justin. Emotional abuse must be the new Ugg boots.

Recommend (0)

|  Comments (0)

|  Email

|  Share

Share  Facebook Digg del.icio.us