What a busy week! There's a heated presidential race going on, hurricanes threaten thousands of homes, and oh, Audrina and Lauren have their big talk.

But first, we resolve the last episode's biggest cliffhanger: Brody and Doug were brought to jail while they were in Vegas, and the gals try to locate where they are. They come back proud of themselves for hitting some guy in the casino, and says they were in "casino jail" for the last five hours. What does that mean? They are locked in a cell forced to wear a vest and a visor? The gang heads home and Audrina tells Lauren they need to talk later.

Big things happening at work for Whitney. Kelly Cutrone calls the fakest business meeting ever. They even have some guy sit there with a clipboard who doesn't even talk. Turns out there's a big event at Area Nightclub, and someone named Lady Gaga is performing. Whitney will be styling her and Lauren will be helping. Wait, isn't Whitney the publicist? And what exactly does Lauren do? At the event, Lady Gaga has a fashion emergency. Her catsuit zipper is stuck. Whitney can't quite get it, but Lauren unsticks it. See? That's why she works in fashion.

It's almost even more heroic than when Lauren dug a wick out a candle when she was working for Ashley Paige. If Whitney styled Lady Gaga, she should be shot. Lady Gaga looks like Catwoman and the Cat-in-the-Hat mated, and then that child was adopted collectively by ravers in a warehouse. Even worse, Whitney and Lauren are a nightclub for a pretty hip fashion show and record release party, and all Lauren can talk about how stressed she is to talk to Audrina.

Oh, yeah, Spencer is now playing someone who is doing a parody of Spencer parodying someone who is playing Spencer. He's just that over-the-top douche-y. Poor dim Holly, Heidi's sister is clipping and painting her toenails (which is pretty gross to do on someone's furniture) but Spencer comes in tells her he and Heidi want her out. Holly, before she blows up, stomps out of the apartment. Later on, Heidi confronts her and tells her that she should have come right to Heidi about how upset she was, and to not trust Spencer without hearing her side first. Once again, Heidi is being sensible and making sense. What?

The big talk. Audrina comes into to talk to Lauren while she is arranging the things in her Chanel purse (which cost her four grand, US Weekly tells me). There's a lot of crying and accusing and begging, but most notable is the BIG, PATHETIC, MASCARA TEAR that some PA had to make sure really showed up in this scene. Lauren's big, black tear represents the struggles of young women who live in a mansion with her friends and has her own show. Meanwhile, she and Audrina hug and make up.

It just occurred to me that all of Lauren's friends are her friends because of Heidi and Spencer -- Audrina was Heidi's neighbor before Lauren moved to LA, Spencer set up Brody with Lauren, and Stephanie is Spencer's sister. Ungrateful much?

I am now going to share a segment with you I like to call "Questions about The Hills that are keeping me up at night." Seriously, I won't find rest until someone finds me answers.

* How does Stephanie Pratt pay for her condo? What's her Home Owners Association fee? What sort of financing did she use?

* Do Lauren and Stephanie still go to FIDM? What's Lauren's major? Will she be able to fullfill her requirements? Did her credits from her other school transfer? Does she take any classes other than computer classes? Why does she need a computer class? What the heck is "computer class" anyway? Word processing? Design?

* So what exactly do Lauren and Whitney do at People's Revolution? Does Whitney get good health benefits? How about a retirement plan?

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