Maisy Fernandez,
Mar 13, 2009
Let's cut to the chase. We are so totally sick of seeing The Bachelor's Jason Mesnick and Nadya Suleman (aka Octo-Mom) on TV that we're considering reading more books, just so we don't accidentally have to watch another repetitive interview in HD.
Both parties claim they're not out for attention, but neither seems to be fading into the sunset. So, who's the most annoying of the omnipresent pair? Glad you asked. We pitted them against each other to find out. (Remember, a point in someone's favor means they're more annoying, so the winner here is really the loser.)
TV APPEARANCES:
Jason is not only The Bachelor's first single dad, he's also the only one to require a second After the Final Rose program. Since that time, we've witnessed him spew his Melissa apologies to Ellen DeGeneres, Bonnie Hunt and on Extra, to name a few. Plus, every other television entertainment show seems to have daily tidbits about him and/or his two ladies.
Nadya is on her post-procreation publicity tour, sitting down almost daily with news magazines, filming regular segments for The Insider and more. On Tuesday alone, she was on Dr. Phil, Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight (twice in a 30-minute show!), TMZ and Extra. I actually had dreams about her that night. Kill me now.
Octo-Mom: 1
Bachelor Dad: 0
MAGAZINE COVERS:
Of course, magazine covers depend on the week's happenings. And with the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing going on, both Jason and Nadya have been mostly relegated to inside stories. But Jason's mug was front and center (with Molly) on People magazine, and he makes the cover of this week's Us Weekly (with ex-fiance Melissa Rycroft) as well. (Octo-Mom gets a small cover photo and tease on the same issue.)
Octo-Mom:1
Bachelor Dad: 1
PARENTING ABILITY:
Jason is billed as a single father, but he shares custody of Ty with his ex-wife. So that's a two-to-one parent ratio, and a marriage to Molly would make three parental units. We are slightly concerned about Jason letting Ty's tantrums rule the roost, but at least he has a job and a stable home.
Nadya, who already had six kids, is unemployed, on food stamps and soliciting donations on her Web site to help raise her 14 children.
She recently accepted an offer of free, round-the-clock nurses worth $135K a month, and her dad just bought her a new house. But she clearly cannot care for 14 children (many with health concerns) alone -- and they are what's important here. (When one of her six older children expressed depression and sadness over the new family sitch, she "held him for 10 minutes, and he held me back, and that's all he needed." Or is that just all you had time for, SuperMom?
Octo-Mom: 2
Bachelor Dad: 1
REALITY SHOWS:
Thanks to reality TV, Jason has gone from the brokenhearted dad from The Bachelorette, to perhaps the most popular Bachelor ever, to arguably the biggest jackass who has ever been on either show. We never found him that compelling on either program, but we can't deny his public appeal.
At first, Octo-Mom reportedly turned down the free nurses because they wouldn't allow her to film a reality show. However, she will now be doing "reality show" segments for The Insider and already has a daily video blog for Radar Online. (TMZ also reports Nadya was offered a million bucks to do porn. There's no word on her decision, but we hope she agrees that her lady parts have seen enough activity to last several lifetimes.)
Still, reality shows are why we even know who Jason is.
OctoMom: 2
Bachelor Dad: 2
MENTAL STABILITY:
Besides the fact that he's wishy-washy, Jason is a freaking tear factory. I've had crazy pregnancy hormones for almost six months, and I've cried less in that time than Jason does in one TV appearance. Kleenex should hire him as an official spokesperson.
OctoMom -- who should be the one bawling her eyes out -- seems to remain in a state of eternal, calm bliss. Listen, lady: If Jon and Kate are frazzled over their 8 kids in their $1.3 million dollar home, you should be freaking the hell out right now. She's also reportedly offered to sell the video of her octo-birth to the highest bidder. Um, gross.
Perhaps her recently-departed publicist said it best: "This woman is nuts."
Ya think?
Octo-Mom: 3
Bachelor Dad: 2
Bottom line: Eventually, the fervor for The Bachelor will die down -- it always does -- and for that, we cannot wait. But we anticipate constant updates on Nadya's children/mothering skills/parents/dating life, etc. for years to come, particularly if she keeps getting paid for her stories. Being a media mongrel has become her meal ticket.
We totally care about the welfare of the children, but good grief. Octo-Mom and the media need a nice, long vacation from one another.
