The Amazing Race returns Sept. 28 for a 13th season after what feels like a long hiatus. I've missed Phil Keoghan and his turtlenecks! Since it's never too early to start judging people on TV, I've watched a quick video introducing the 11 teams and feel adequately prepared to share my first impressions:

Aja and Ty: This long-distance couple has only spent two weeks together consecutively. After racing around the world together under the most stressful circumstances, I'm guessing they'll want to put plenty of distance between them when they get back -- permanently.

Terence and Sarah: These New Yorkers are showing signs of the typical New York superiority complex: "We live our lives on the run. We don't have time to relax." I'm sure they will be completely debilitated when they have to give up their Blackberrys. They already annoy me.

Marisa and Brooke: Best friends and token blonds, these Southern belles wear matching hot pink tracksuits and claim to have really good manners. But fashion sense? Not so much.

Nick and Starr: Starr is a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader who is racing with her brother, Nick. They both look like drama queens and I'm hoping to see some sibling rivalry since they hated each other in high school.

Anthony and Stephanie: Back together again after a year-long break-up, Anthony says he will propose to Stephanie if they make it through the Race. Wow, here's a guy who really does not want to get married. Run, Stephanie, run!

Mark and Bill: Self-professed comic book geeks and gamers. I'm going to say that unless the Amazing Race is turned into a video game, their chances of making it past the first pit stop are slim to none.

Dallas and Toni: Single mom who's willing to pimp out her son to advance in the Race. "I mean, I raised him. I'm gonna use him. He owes me." In other words, Dallas is a total mama's boy.

Kelly and Christy: These girls seem to have their priorities in order. "If we have to leave with wet hair and do our makeup on the run, we'll do it." One of them will probably make out with Dallas at some point.

Arthur and Anita: Tie-dyed wearing hippies who have matching unruly white hair and own an organic blueberry farm. The married couple are doing their best to give the Pacific Northwest a bad name: "If you come to the Northwest, you're gonna see a lot of this." It's not true. It's not.

Andrew and Dan: These fraternity brothers are dubbed Team Superbad by their fellow Racers. One is built like Seth Rogen with the curly hair to match, and the other is a dead ringer for McLovin.

Ken and Tina: The former NFL player and his wife are married, but separated. They seem to think winning a million dollars will help put their marriage back together. Ha.

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