Last week marked the return of two successful reality shows that make us really happy to be couch potatoes. We like adventure and all, but usually in much smaller doses than is offered by Survivor (the Tocantins installation premieres at 8 p.m., Thursday on CBS) or The Amazing Race (premieres at 8 p.m., Sunday, also on CBS).

Each has more than ten seasons under its belt, and we think it's high time the programs themselves were subjected to some sort of competition: Our TV Throwdown.

AMENITIES
On Survivor, contestants may win a fabulous meal, but it will then give them explosive diarrhea after having noshed on rice and minnows for days on end. They have to build their own shelter, go find water -- and hey, are they even allowed to bring a "luxury item" anymore?
Competitors on The Amazing Race get to stay in hotels and get cleaned up in between their grueling challenges, in addition to winning prizes. Sure, they are always on the go, but changing your underwear and shaving your armpits are not things to take for granted.
Survivor: 0
The Amazing Race: 1

ADVENTURES
Granted, Amazing Race folks don't get to explore their new territories with leisure. Since they're being timed, they get the extreme CliffsNotes version of each country's culture. Not to mention that traveling by land, air and sea presents a whole other layer of craziness. Still, that's much more invigorating and educational than spending all your days getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, plotting against people, and fantasizing about shampoo, toothbrushes and Chick-fil-A sandwiches.
Survivor: 0
The Amazing Race: 2

DRAMA
Two different kinds of drama unfold on these shows. On The Amazing Race, the teams are on a strict schedule and teammates inevitably have skirmishes about how to most efficiently proceed with the task at hand. But even when they fight, at the end of the day, they always have someone who is on their side. (However, an already fragile relationship could be forever marred in a high-pressure situation like this.)
Survivor contestants have nothing but time on their hands which often leads to paranoid delusions, and also allows for teammates to grate on each others' last nerve. Tribe members constantly turn on each other. And half the time, when someone is voted off, the ousted member is completely taken by surprise.
Survivor: 1
The Amazing Race: 2

HISTORY
Now entering its 18th season, Survivor certainly wasn't the first reality show, but it was pretty much the first of its kind: A program that put contestants in seemingly impossible situations, pitting them against each other for a cash prize. When Survivor first started in 2000, the premise was so unusual, it was the water cooler topic at many jobs.
The Amazing Race, which premiered 16 months later, offered another fresh reality concept and exciting, edge-of-your-seat premise. And while it seems to have surpassed Survivor in popularity and critical acclaim during its 13 installations (AR has 11 Primetime Emmys to Survivor's three), we have to give the edge to the show that spawned so many imitators.
Survivor: 2
The Amazing Race: 2

BENEFITS
If you're a Survivor contestant, chances are you're doing to drop at least 20 pounds and get a rockin' tan. Sure, you might be malnourished, but hey, who can complain about looking great in a (smaller) sundress at the finale? It's like The Biggest Loser without Jillian barking in your ear.
On The Amazing Race, you can rack up the passport stamps and become a lot more worldly. Plus, any future travel to foreign countries will probably seem like a breeze in comparison. You're also likely to get into better shape because of all the running around and stiff physical challenges.
Survivor: 2
The Amazing Race: 3

Bottom line: The tribe has spoken. We have much respect for our elders, but sometimes the pioneers pave the way for bigger and better things down the line, and that's what's happened here. The Amazing Race is truly amazing.

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