This Week on America's Next Top Model: Cat Fight! Well, Almost

Sometimes I wonder if America's Next Top Model is actually anti-woman. Now, what would make me say that about a show starring sixteen women (counting the two judges)? Well, think about it. Every episode, the models are encouraged to gather like sheep around messages from Tyra and scream, arrive at challenges and scream, and, for the most part, scream at each other whenever possible, too. Drama is found (and exploited by the producers) whenever models cry or behave cattily. And in the end, the models are, of course, being judged on their ability to look hot for a society that puts an inordinate value on beauty. In other words, Top Model is about women who scream hysterically whenever possible, cry whenever possible, tear each other down whenever possible, and desperately want to have themselves validated by others who call them pretty or not. Isn't this mindset everything women's lib tried to overcome? I wonder if Gloria Steinem is a fan.

That said, I still get a kick out of watching Top Model, probably because I'm a mindless male ape who likes hot chicks shouting at each while strutting around in lingerie. Now, if only the producers could get the models to wrestle their anxieties and frustrations out in a giant pool of mud ...

Anyway, my girlfriend and I can't get over how utterly ridiculous it is that the models -- like Dominique and her new arch-nemesis, Claire -- can't just get into a fistfight to settle their differences. Last night's episode was punctuated by spats between the two, which included Whitney and Lauren shouting at Dominique and her lack of consideration, too. Hell, quiet little Lauren actually got up on a chair and started barking at Dominique. To be fair, though, Dominique deserved a lot worse. Well, according to the way the producers are portraying her, at least. She spent the entire episode talking about how every other model was jealous of her and trying to knock her out of the top spot because she was the real threat. Oh, and she referred to herself in third person a few more times. You know, like, "Dominique has a secret in her pants, and these other models can't guess what it is!" I know what it is, Dominique. We all do, so stop worrying.

The challenges this week weren't particularly exciting, though Tyra's "pose with pain" lesson produced a secret challenge winner in Anya. Her prize? Pose naked for Nigel Barker. Yeah, Nigel has a hell of a tough job, if you ask me. The second challenge was embodying specific genres of music like grunge, heavy metal, or pop for super-photog Russell James. For my money, Katarzyna won for her emo look just because I really dig punky girls (the change-up actually prompted Tyra to give her another make-over). The judges, however, called Aimee out for not embodying R&B, probably because of her lack of life experience (namely, she's a Mormon prude) and, astonishingly, Claire, who defined country music with couture poses. Aimee got the boot, which means we all get to watch Claire scream for at least another week ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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