Nothing says high fashion and elegance like Wal-Mart, at least according to the producers of America’s Next Top Model. This week, they sent the models to a Wal-Mart store for a little impromptu make-up challenge since, as we’re told, "Wal-Mart is a great place [to] shop because they have unbeatable prices." Seriously, could this show lower itself anymore? Maybe there could be a cross-promotion with Buck’s Dollar Store next? I mean, it wouldn’t seem any cheaper, if you ask me.

Anyways, after the models slummed it at America’s worst super-chain, they headed into the salon for a little retooling of their looks courtesy of Tyra. This, I should say, is my girlfriend’s favorite part of this series; every cycle, the girls are made over into something exotic and beautiful, and I think it offers the promise to women around the country, even in Craphole, Texas, that they too can be, you know, exotic and beautiful. That is, if they spend $2,000 at a New York hair salon.

It’s amazing what a makeover can do, whatever the case. Take Fatima, who was obviously an attractive woman, but who suffered from some less-than-perfect hair; with a chestnut weave down to the middle of her back, she’s suddenly a Naomi Campbell knock-off. Lauren, the awkward, Converse-wearing punk, was given longer hair, too, and a new blonde with red highlights look that left her feeling “girly” for once. Katarzyna’s locks were dyed a dark brown, giving her that Eastern European mail-order look (which I love), while Aimee’s transition to a fiery redhead left me drooling. Even Claire’s conversion to a short-haired Peroxide blonde was a stunning new take on the alt-mom.

Next, it was off to a photo shoot to promote Elle Macpherson’s Elle Macpherson Experience lingerie, or, as the one-time super-model giant (literally -- she’s an Amazon) called them on set, "bras and knickers." Since it’s so early in the season, very few of the models were able to shine during the sexy shoot. In fact, most looked rather unsexy. My favorite moment was when over-cocky Allison started "posing." Somebody asked her, "Are you cold?" Jay muttered in response, "No, unfortunately she’s posing."

When it came time for the judging, my girlfriend was raving. She really can’t stand Dominique, who talked about having a child in this episode, specifically how she has to be both a mother and father to the kid. I imagine this is because she used to be a man, but I won’t argue those details right now. She wound up in the bottom two, alongside Allison, who, slow as she is, didn’t see it coming. Paulina Porizkova dismissed Dominique as a "soccer mom and nothing more," but, in a twist, the judges didn’t send home the hopelessly out-of-her-league she-dude. Instead, Allison, who had been bragging about how hot her new look was only five minutes earlier, got the proverbial pink slip. There were many tears -- many, many melodramatic tears -- but I couldn’t help laughing. My girlfriend, she was just pissed she'd have to look at Dominique for one more week.

Recommend (0) |

Comments (0) |

Email  |

Share

Share  Facebook Digg del.icio.us