Showtime Hasn't Shut HBO Out Of My Heart

It took me all of 10 minutes to break off a seven-year relationship. This was not a rash decision. I had thought long and hard, probably ever since The Sopranos finale, about making the change. Two weeks ago, I finally went for it ... I switched from HBO to Showtime.

The debut of the second season of This American Life was the initial motivation for the change. That and HBO's inability to get off the therapist's couch in the past year. It was the much-hyped miniseries John Adams that really brought on the seven-year itch. I tried to watch several times, and it always put me to sleep faster than a shot of Nyquil.

Call me wishy-washy, but after two weeks I'm already thinking about jilting Showtime and getting back together with HBO.

Don't get me wrong about This American Life. It's my favorite thing on TV right now. The televised spin-off of Ira Glass's NPR radio program adds a compelling visual element to the extraordinary stories about ordinary people. Last week's episode (the second of the season) followed an Iraqi man as he set up an "Ask An Iraqi" booth at public places across the South (Georgia, South Carolina, etc.). The camera then captured conversations between him and the random strangers who stopped to talk, many of whom are in the US military. Never before have I seen a more fascinating and honest examination of the war's meaning on TV.

But when it comes to Showtime's other shows I'm less in love:

Weeds
Okay, Weeds is worthy, very worthy. A Californian suburban widow resorts to becoming a pot dealer to pay the bills. Is this realistic? Not in my world, but I don't live in California. Is this hilarious? Absolutely. Mary-Louise Parker, Elizabeth Perkins and Kevin Nealon steal the show, playing their suburban parent roles with such cynical freshness that each episode feels like a slice of an indie comedy. I can't wait to watch all the On-Demand episodes.

Californication
To watch the X Files's Mulder play a womanizing, washed-up writer, and all-around ass is not easy, after he tried so hard to save the human race. Could this show be Showtime's answer to Curb Your Enthusiasm? All of Hank Moody's (David Duchovny) existential angst feels more tiring than funny, though watching his relationship with his Gothic adolescent daughter, who calls him out on his lameness, is fun stuff. This one show is winning me over, more than Entourage or Big Love ever did.

Dexter
Michael C. Hall's performance as the serial killer who only murders bad people is riveting. You wouldn't think it would be possible to be endearing and goofy while being homicidal. It feels like if you threw CSI: Miami, There's Something About Mary, and Hannibal in a blender, Dexter is what would come out. It's really, really weird. HBO's creepy Big Love, about a polygamous Mormon family, somehow makes more sense.

The Tudors
This ensemble drama certainly has more sex appeal than Rome, HBO's period piece, did. Yet it pales in comparison to Deadwood, The Wire, Ox, HBO's other shows about desperate people in desperate times. Jonathan Rhys Meyers' piercing eyes and over-the-top, horny drama-king portrayal of Henry VIII only adds to the cheesiness.

The L Word
While I can appreciate that this show is important -- finally, Ellen DeGeneres is not alone in representing lesbianism on TV -- I can't get into it. The characters are certainly likable and interesting, but I feel like when the writing isn't trying to "educate" me on same-sex relationships that it's going over the top with the dramatic storylines. I miss David and Keith on Sex Feet Under -- theirs was a true relationship that wasn't obsessed with being gay.

Just after I switched I thought maybe I was pining for the old HBO that hasn't existed since the screen went black on Tony Soprano. But I've realized that even now there is a lot more to HBO than to Showtime -- from Real Time With Bill Maher to Bryant Gumble's Real Sports to CostasNOW to the ongoing documentaries series to made-for-HBO movies. Showtime's offerings, aside from its aforementioned shows, are a few boxing specials, and then Penn and Teller: Bullshit and Tracey Ullman's State Of The Union, both of which are unbearable.

Though Brotherhood, a drama about an Irish-American mob family in Rhode Island, set to air its second season on May 25, may be the deal breaker that turns me into a Showtime lover. This show is supposed to be excellent, even if some say it's a ripoff of The Sopranos. It just may have to do.

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