Runway Recap: Her Vacuum Cleaner Bag Dress Did Not Suck

Melinda Viren,  Jul 17, 2008
Can I have you gather 'round? Project Runway has premiered at long last with a fifth season of fabulousness. Here's the rundown from last night's episode, featuring my first impressions of the designers and their looks from the throwback supermarket challenge (with guest judge Austin Scarlett).

Blayne (Seattle, WA)
I'd like to call him Crazy Blayne -- but he's not crazy, he just plays crazy on TV. Liberal use of neon clothing, tanning beds, and made-up and slang-y buzzwords a la Christian Siriano, but with none of the charm. His "Girl-ious" ("Girlalicious? Girlalishicious?") outfit was just stupid. Stupidlicious. I can't wait till he gets pale. My editor is pulling for him because he's from Seattle. I hope she rethinks that.

Daniel (Brooklyn, NY)
My pick for a top three finalist. Quiet. Brooding. Interview tape shows him petting live birds that appear to be pecking at a mannequin's nipples. Nearly won the opening challenge with his cocktail dress made of keg cups.

Emily (Los Angeles, CA)
I'm backing Emily because she's from L.A. Made a dress with beach balls and candy. Rocks the super-'70s headband look.

Jennifer (Pistoia, Italy)
Working too hard to seem quietly wacky.

Jerell (Los Angeles, CA)
My boy. Sexy bod. Funny personality. Best line of the night when referencing Blayne's inane quips: Told him to "put it back in his case, close it up and send it to the girl next door." I concur.

Jerry (Butte, MT)
My first impression of Jerry? Loser. He claimed in his audition tape to be "the best designer" of the show, and you know what happens when folks use superlatives. He made a rain coat dress out of shower curtains and paper towels. Paired it with scary plastic gloves in a look that Michael Kors called, "a bridal nurse freaky hand-wipe gone wrong." He's out.

Joe (Troy, MI)
Average. Joe. Average Joe. Made a pasta dress look boring.

Keith (Salt Lake City, UT)
Will probably be next casualty. Nice tats. Boring clothes. Arrogance without backup. No real background in design. Running on fumes ... already.

Kelli (Columbus, OH)
Another top three contender who won the first first challenge. Brains. Beauty. Confidence. Talent. If she were an L.A. girl, I'd put all my money on her. Her vacuum cleaner bag dress did not suck.

Kenley (Brooklyn, NY)
Loves color and glamour. Patterns and pretty. Lipstick and layers. She was the only one who called out Jerry's joke-of-a-dress in the sewing room.

Korto (Mabelvale, AK)
My final pick to make the final three. Brilliant use of cherry tomatoes and kale as necklace. Nina Garcia loves her "impeccable" sewing and "good taste."

Leanne (Portland, OR)
"I am so competitive; I am here to win this." She looks like a church mouse. A church mouse with a loaded gun, a box of knives, and medicine cabinet full of poison medicines.

Stella (New York, NY)
Afraid of being "biggest jackass in the nation." Tough cookie. Big on leather. Talks like a sailor. Belatedly realized that plastic trash bags are the color, weight and texture of plastic trash bags. Heidi Klum called her look "butt ugly."

Suede (Barryville, NY)
He actually said the word "wack-a-doodle." Refers to himself in the third person. Wears a blue Mohawk. Remembers watching the original supermarket challenge, and "never thought what [he'd] do in that situation." Never did. Not once.

Terri (Columbus, OH)
Made a mop top. She's "blown away" by her own stuff. Looks like she needs a sandwich. Should eat the neckline of Korto's piece.

Wesley (New York, NY)
What, huh? I can't hear you, Wesley. Young. Pretty. Talented. Quiet. Very, very quiet. Made a dress out of flyswatters.