Project Runway Forgets to Follow Its Own Rules

It’s no secret that I’ve been dissatisfied with this season of Project Runway, but last night’s episode did a lot to make up for the last several lousy episodes that had me contemplating canceling my TiVo subscription. And no, this doesn’t mean Heidi Klum announced she’s preggers again. God, what I would give for that. I think I need to get online and download some hot, pregnant photos of her just to sustain me until Seal knocks her up again. Sigh.

Anyways, things kicked off with the assignment of a new challenge. The designers were each asked to design an outfit for a woman who had recently lost a substantial amount of weight. The outfit had to be made from the material of her favorite clothes from when she was, you know, fat. These women-turned-models actually appeared on stage with these clothes hanging off of them, looking as frumpy and unattractive as they could. The creative challenge immediately excited just about every designer the moment it was presented, except, that is, Steven, who groaned when he was given a wedding dress to work with. Then, of course, he squinted. The guy needs to open his eyes!

Interestingly enough, this week’s fantastic challenge did not instigate the dramatic force of the episode. Jack can be blamed for that. Seeing as though he’s been HIV-positive for seventeen years now, previews had given the impression he would be offering up shocking news about his disease that would, oh no, leave everyone gasping and get the ratings climbing. Instead, he developed a Staph infection in his mouth, gruesome enough that, with tears streaming down his face, he had to voluntarily leave the competition. Designers still gasped, though. The ratings yawned.

Back to work: Steven complained incessantly about his tacky wedding dress, insisting he could work with satin polyester. When the designers hit the fabric store, he bought lots of black stretch cloth to create a dress with only the scantest bit of fabric and beads from the wedding dress directly integrated. Jillian pulled a similar trick when, instead of actually using the fabric she was given, she bought an identical color and set to work creating a dress that used nothing from the original source except black piping.

With Jack out of the picture, the balance of the universe was out of whack... So, in another gasp-worthy announcement, Chris, the Fred Flintstone clone that was voted off last week, returned to the competition. Because of his late entry, he was given the opportunity to work all night, which only resulted in a bizarre sailor girl costume that almost, ironically, got him kicked off again.

In the end, Christian won the challenge with Kevin, clearly more worthy, taking second place with a sigh. At the bottom end of the scoring were Chris, Elisa, and Steven. Chris, as you know, turned his model into a sailor, but his stay of execution was extended because others sucked more than him this week. Like Elisa, who tried to make her still plump middle-aged woman look like a high schooler with her funky design. Steven, though, was the worst of the batch: he turned his wedding dress into a black funeral dress. They had expected something amazing with the material he was given, and he had scrapped it all much to their dismay.

Here, I just have to point out that, after this week, I no longer trust the opinion of anything the judges say and question the rules of this competition as legitimate. Jillian and Steven both ignored the mandate of the challenge and used outside material to create their designs, but Jillian was rewarded with third place because her dress looked good while Steven, whose design was terrible, was sent home. They both cheated, though, and they both should have been disqualified. What a joke.

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