The Hills: Smitten With Stephen Colletti

I never watched The Hills predecessor Laguna Beach, so this was my first introduction to Lauren's high school crush, Stephen Colletti. This is what I've been waiting all season for, a love interest for Lauren I could root for. Stephen totally fit that bill. He was completely different from any of the boys we've seen any of The Hills girls date over the years. He was cute (unlike Justin Bobby), sweet (unlike Spencer) and even displayed refreshing honesty (unlike Brody) when giving Lauren advice about her awkward living situation with Audrina. "Walk over there. She's like twenty steps away," Stephen advised when Lauren complained that Audrina is keeping to herself. I love this guy!

Which of course means that Lauren doesn't want to date him. But more on that later.

What brought Stephen back into Lauren's life was her housewarming party. She, Audrina and Lo moved into the house they'd talked about getting last week. Well, Lauren and Lo moved into the house, and the Justin Bobby lovin' Audrina moved into the guest house. While I understand that Lauren wouldn't want to see Audrina back together with a guy that caused her so much pain, and Lauren even being cautious of getting too close to a friend with a bad boyfriend after everything she went through with Heidi, I feel more empathy for Audrina.

It's clear that instead of fighting to hold on to their friendship, Lauren has promoted Lo to the role of BFF #1, and the two of them are treating Audrina like a third wheel. Speaking of these friendship politics, does it bother anyone else how casually Lauren throws the term "best friend" around? Heidi, Audrina, Lo, and even the despised Jen Bunney have all held the title at different times throughout the three seasons of the show. I'm starting to get the impression that Lauren's one of those girls who can only handle having one intense, constantly-at-her-side friend at a time, instead of balancing a healthy social circle.

One friend who couldn't make it to the housewarming party was Stephanie, who wasn't being let off her leash by Spencer or Heidi this week. Both questioned her loyalty when she mentioned she was invited to Lauren's party. And though she argued valiantly for her freedom, she ended up staying home in defeat and watching a movie with Heidi. This girl really needs to stop letting her brother and his quasi ex-fiance dictate who she can be friends with.

But enough about the Pratts. They're boring and have the same fight every week. And we need to talk about Lauren's date with Stephen. (He's so adorable! Those big, innocent brown eyes! That wholesome smile! Why can't you admit you love him, Lauren? WHY???) During the housewarming party, Stephen suggested they grab lunch or dinner together another time, so they could catch up in peace. This led to a romantic-seeming dinner at a twinkle-lit Italian restaurant, where the talk quickly turned to their status as a legendary will-they-or-won't-they couple. You could see the disappointment register on Lauren's face when he referred to their dinner as platonic, but she played along, saying her parents loved him because they always knew he'd be her great friend.

After hugging Stephen goodbye in the car and promising to keep in touch, Lauren went inside for ice cream and girl talk with Lo, the biggest Lauren/Stephen shipper in the history of the world. Lauren said she had fun at dinner, but that hanging out with Stephen made her feel like she was back in high school, and some things were meant to stay the way they were. But I don't believe her for one second, especially not after the lovesick smile on her face after Stephen had called her "precious cargo" in the car.

And I'm glad that Lo thinks so, too. Especially since she's Lauren's BFF du jour.

Coming up next week: Heidi heads to Vegas for work, Lauren gets a puppy, and Audrina continues to feel left out. And I'm guessing Lauren will probably be dating some new, Brody-like jerk, because there was no Stephen in the previews.

Goodbye, perfect, adorable Stephen. It was great for the twenty-two minutes it lasted.

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