CBS Party Report: Californicating to Sweet Excess

We spent more time on the way to the party -- from the Beverly Hilton to West Hollywood in Friday night traffic -- than Paris did in jail, but were rewarded with a substantial starfest when we finally did arrive. The venue fairly dripped with tangerine-colored blossoms, honey-hued cocktails, and similarly warm-spirited actors.

The mood was one of excessive generosity, and I fanned the flames of the stars of Showtime and CBS. Here's what we heard over the course of our delicious evening at Boulevard 3 in Hollywood.

"I'm moving to New York so I don't have to run the triathlon with you."
David Duchovny (Californication) on why he won't be racing in the Malibu Nautica Sprint with me in September. Though he's competed as a Malibu local in the race several times, the dreamy star of the big and small screen will be moving to the East the summer because "it's a good change."

"Five out of six guest stars can't deliver a monologue the way she can. Her manners are flawless. She's inspiring. I want my 2-year-old daughter to grow up the way she is."
Mary-Louise Parker (Weeds) on co-star Allie Grant. This, before her ex and baby-daddy Billy Crudup arrived with The Ex List star Elizabeth Reaser.

"I'm looking to binge next on The Wire. I'm only through season two."
Michael C. Hall (Dexter) on the way he'll spend his next free hangover day. He revealed earlier in the day that he'd watched season one of Californification on an afternoon that followed a particularly rough night of drinking. He was slowly sipping tequila as we spoke because it "burned cleaner" than vodka.

"Sean Connery. When I was five."
Madeline Zima (Californication) on any inappropriate crushes she's had on older men in her life. After this dark revelation, the 22-year-old beauty confessed that she couldn't really fall in love with her character's crush, but that she was "overwhelmingly grateful" for the writers and actors with whom she worked on the show.

"It's the voice and the height."
Dennis Haysbert (The Unit) when offered a choice as to which he felt was the reason I fell in love with him every single time he came on an All State commercial. He then proceeded to kiss both my cheeks and make me blush and stammer like a schoolgirl.

"I was gone... I went there...I mean I wasn't on drugs or anything... but I went there."
Bob Saget on his recurring role as Butch in the under-appreciated but completely awesome Hank Azaria series, Huff.

"We're all the best of friends. It's abnormal. We can't actually stay away from each other."
Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) on her Friends-like relationship with series coworkers, who, over the course of five minutes, finished five out five sentences for each other.

"We're all creatures of appetite."
Callum Keith Rennie (Californication) on our and the evening's excesses, his desire to quit smoking, and the numerous dark and light characters he's portrayed over the years. Look for him as season two opens in September.

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