Mr. Garrison: Congratulations, Eric, on writing the award-winning paper.
Cartman: Kick ass.
Stan: That's impossible. Cartman doesn't know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart.
Cartman: Yeah, I do. Pop-Tarts are frosted.

We have winners!

Today we end Film.com's month-long contest for a FREE mega-mongo-hyper-Super-FANTASTIC set of Comedy Central's South Park on DVD. It's time now to announce the three prize winners.

First, though, let us say that the selection was really difficult. Your response to the contest was freakin' awesome. We pored over 200 entries from across North America and from numerous Film.com fans internationally (we love that). Among you hardcore South Park aficionados are students, poets, hard-luck cases, South Park Pub Trivia winners, librarians, grandparents, socially abusive types with anger-management issues, and married couples who use South Park as a marital aid (dude!). With so many passionate and creative South Park devotees hanging out with us here at Film.com, we would have no trouble giving away a couple dozen grand prizes and about a hundred more of the runner-up prizes. Even though we can't do that, remember that you're ALL winners with us and we'd like to give you sweet lovin' like Chef at a Barry White concert.

Next time we'll see if we can coax Comedy Central out of even more prizes, but for now it all comes down to these three Film.com players:

teddyben, whose evocatively told sad-sack story of seventh-grade P.E. class, a melting frozen turkey, and karma made us both laugh and wibble our lower lip, will receive the grand prize of South Park Seasons 1 through 11 on DVD, a South Park poker set, and a South Park character action figure (Officer Barbrady).

The two runners-up who will get Comedy Central's South Park: The Complete Eleventh Season - Uncensored (official site) are:

nikola0192, who put effort into a poem that not only rhymed "prize" with "thighs" and "bomb" with "film.com," it also sounds pretty cool when sung during a round of Guitar Hero.

wuzzup21, who eloquently reasoned that what we have here is a "bestowage" and used the words "non-stretch band fat pants" along with "dignity" and "humbleness," and we admire a dignified humility when it comes to fashion choices.

teddyben, nikola0192, and wuzzup21, expect email from us shortly.

Everyone else, thanks gobs for playing, and keep hanging with us here at Film.com for more giveaways, not to mention all the commentary, reviews, salacious gossip, and general coolness about all things TV, movies, and more!

Timmy!

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