THIS CONTEST IS NOW OVER AND THE WINNERS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED!

"Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars."

Forget the first law of physics -- here at Film.com we're now deep into our month-long contest that will give someone a FREE mega-mongo-hyper-Super-FANTASTIC set of Comedy Central's South Park on DVD.

On Tuesday, September 30, we will announce three winning responses that best express the passion, the devotion, that certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes us want to give away cool stuff to our rockin' cool Film.com readers.

One grand prize winner will receive ALL of this:

• Seasons 1 through 11 of South Park on DVD. That's right -- South Park Seasons One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, and Eleven all on DVD!


• A South Park poker set.


• A South Park character action figure. (It might not be the one pictured below. What's life without mystery?)

As Kyle's mother would say, "What what WHAAAT?"

It's all true, dude. And not only that, two runners-up will get Comedy Central's South Park: The Complete Eleventh Season - Uncensored (official site), now out on DVD!

This exclusive three-disc collector's edition delivers all 14 legendary episodes. In addition to the Emmy-nominated three-part epic, "The Imaginationland Trilogy," this unforgettable compilation also features the episode "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson," which presents Stan's dad trying to find forgiveness after mistakenly using a racial slur on "Wheel of Fortune." Not only that, but every episode is uncensored for the first time ever on DVD. The bonus material contains five-to-seven minute mini-commentaries on all 14 episodes by creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

If you're registered here at Film.com and haven't yet entered the contest, just use the comments box below to tell us why you deserve all 11 seasons of South Park on DVD, or South Park: The Complete Eleventh Season - Uncensored for FREE. Do that and you're in the running. If you're not yet registered at Film.com, get on it! It's fast, easy, and -- oh, yeah -- it's also FREE!

I mean, hey, what would Brian Boitano do?

Nearly 200 of your fellow South Park fans have already signed up here at Film.com and posted their reasons why they -- and not YOU -- should win all this South Park goodness. Among the tactics we've seen by our readers are these contenders:

APPEAL TO SYMPATHY
notv4me -- "First off I am a loser, I never win anything."

TRY TO GUILT-TRIP US
teddyben -- "When I was in seventh grade my P.E. class had a contest to see who could win a frozen turkey for the Thanksgiving holiday. It was the only time I had ever won something on my own .... Anyway, I felt so accomplished until I realized I had to walk a couple miles back home, in the rain, with a stinky, melting turkey. There I was, holding about 5 books in my arms and the turkey in my backpack [which was ruined after that] ... I humbly request to the contest gods to take it easy on me this time and balance the scales of karma in my life."

MAKE US CRY
boiidabrick -- "this is not for me but for my father. he travels every week out of state for work we only get to see him once a month and he is an enormous south park fan. with all the traveling he does he doesnt have time to watch the new episodes. but he has been dreaming of having a south park DVD since the series first aired. i think i deserve this so i can make my father happy and make his rare home visits worth while."

SQUICK US OUT
Mr_HAnky -- [Provided a long list of the South Park stuff he already owns, including "Cartman boxers" and "South Park dolls."]

APPEAL TO OUR SOCIAL CONSCIOUSNESS AT GREAT LENGTH
Travisty -- "I have watched South Park go from a beautifully cut out, potty mouthed cartoon, into one of the longest running political/religious/societal satyrs [sic]. It's a ground breaking story that continues to entertain, as well as open your mind to the other side of the spectrum. These animated moments have taught me more than the educational babble we are taught in schools! And it's not even the love for South Park, It's the overall respect and admiration for the creators of an award winning series. Matt and Trey are solely responsible for some of the finest comedic moments in history...." [This goes on a while longer.]

IMPROVE INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS
OliverR -- "Now you will probably think 'Reipschläger doesn't sound very English' and you are right. I was born and raised here in Germany. I am now 17 years old and THANKS TO SOUTHPARK, which I started watching when the movie came out, I learned English. I know this sounds pretty incredible but it's true."

THREATEN US
nrcarroll -- "If you don't let me win, I'LL KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!!!"
(Yeah, that's going to work.)

SIMPLE, STRAIGHTFORWARD, REFRESHING HONESTY
richbd1016 -- "I would just like to win."

BE COUNTERINTUITIVE
TOTALFILM -- "Because I hate South Park." (Posted twice so far.)

WRITE US A POEM:
nikola0192 -- "... My excitement is exploding like a bomb, / and thats thanks to all you at film.com!"

BE NEARLY UNINTELLIGIBLE TO GROWNUPS
oppositetheworld -- "i have been too busy playimg the MORPG WoW and pwning noobs to keep up with the pure awesomeness that is southpark."

And many more, including the Chewbacca Defense, various insults, several examples of needed marital therapy, one entry from Dubia (which is awesome), and one argument for the word "bestowage."

We're legally obligated to send all this boxed awesomeness to someone who doesn't actually work here, so use the comments box below to tell us why YOU, above all others, deserve it.

If you don't, you'll kill Kenny.

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