There's something about the Golden Globes telecast, airing this Sunday night on NBC at 8 p.m., that makes it, I dunno, the weirdest award show on TV.

For example, celebrities are seated not in regal rows of velvet stadium seats, but at circular dinner tables where they progressively get drunk, often just in time to present an award. The governing body of the ceremony isn't some auspicious academy of white-haired arts dignitaries, but a body of journalists no one cares about (in this case, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association). Oh, and then there's the utterly bizarre way actors are pitted against each other in certain categories. Exhibit A: How I Met Your Mother's Neil Patrick Harris and John Adams' Tom Wilkinson are up for Best Supporting Actor in the same category.(???)

Actually, it's the unpredictability and unpolished vibe of the show that make it my favorite televised frivolity of the year. This season's batch of contenders in the major TV categories is a solid, if unsurprising, one, but still inspires me to muse about who's most deserving of taking home that golden orb on Sunday night.

Award: Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series (Drama)
Who Should Win: January Jones, Mad Men

Oh, I love me some Sally Field on Brothers & Sisters and Kyra Sedgwick on The Closer. And Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay is still nailing her detective Benson, ten years later. But all of these ladies have already won their fair share of accolades. So, um, that leaves Anna Paquin in True Blood? Puh-leeze. Jones has this one locked. Her 1960's desperate housewife is the most heart-wrenching yet subtle portrait of urban malaise I've ever seen.

Award: Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series (Drama)
Who Should Win: Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment

There's something about playing a serial killer that's made Michael C. Hall a perennial loser for his work on Dexter, which I kind of get. Jon Hamm is good on Mad Men, but he's not amazing. I love Hugh Laurie -- his work on House is so smooth, it's almost hum-drum at this point - and Jonathan Rhys Meyers' creepy eccentricity plays well on The Tudors, but neither has given a performance as affecting as Byrne's beleaguered psychiatrist, Paul Weston. Seriously people, this man deserves a damn award already.

Award: Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series (Musical or Comedy)
Who Should Win: Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?

I love Tina Fey as much as a woman can without actually loving her. But the 30 Rock genius isn't really an actor (just ask her), and she just scored two Emmys last fall. America Ferrera, while charming, is all goof and pratfall on Ugly Betty (and not necessarily a gifted "comedienne," you know?). Never having seen The Starter Wife, I can't be too hard on Debra Messing, but the show appears a bit too heavy on estrogen-schmaltz for me to think she'd get to flex her toned comedy muscles. And as much as I admire Mary-Louise Parker's career, she is not too "funny" on Weeds. (In fact, I find her Nancy Botwin to be quite depressing.) So that leaves this year's comeback kid, Applegate, as the most deserving. She's managed the impossible: Turning a slight, confection of a show into a worthy showcase for her Lucille Ball-esque comedic sensibilities.

Award: Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series (Musical or Comedy)
Who Should Win: David Duchovny, Californication

I'm big a believer in "If you've already won a bazillion awards, you shouldn't win any more." So, that removes Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), Steve Carell (The Office), and for the love of God, Tony "Who the hell watches my show?" Shalhoub (Monk). Kevin Connolly (Entourage) has never won, and for good reason. He's not funny. Duchovny, on the other hand, inhabits slutty man-child Hank Moody so convincingly (perhaps too much so, considering recent events), he's helped make Californication the smartest comedy on TV.

Best Television Series, Drama
What Should Win: Dexter

As much as I adore Mad Men, it's swept enough award shows for now. (And really, despite the accolades, it still has a teeny tiny audience, relatively speaking.) Fox's House is great TV, but it's become a tad predictable week to week. I watched five minutes of True Blood and found it excruciatingly bad (what is it with people and vampires??), and while I absolutely loved In Treatment, it did tend toward self-indulgent. Which leaves us with Showtime's Dexter, a drama so expertly crafted to surprise, it makes me laugh, cry, and afraid to go to sleep.

Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy
What Should Win: Californication

Again, I cannot deny the glory that is Tina Fey and her masterful sitcom, 30 Rock. But too much adoration isn't a good thing, especially for a show that plugs itself as a underdog. Entourage simply isn't ha-ha-funny enough to win in this category, though the most recent season was a vast improvement over last year's dull schlock-fest. I am starting to grow weary of The Office, if only for the fact that it's gotten a little soft in its old age. Speaking of, Weeds, whose first two seasons were as bitingly funny as it gets, officially became a melodrama when Nancy got knocked up by the mayor of a Mexican pueblo. With whip-smart dirty banter, clever plotlines, tons of T&A, and a decent dose of heart to boot, Californication is the perfect comedy for 2009.

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