Judging the worthiness of new episodes of FX's plastic-surgery black dramedy Nip/Tuck (returning at 10 p.m. Jan. 6) feels a little like watching a Mexican telenovela in order to learn the ropes of nuanced dramatic acting.

Truth be told, this show, FX's most ludicrous contribution to primetime, has taken the guilty-pleasure genre and twisted it into such a succulent piece of silliness, it is hard to look away. It's kinda like -- no, exactly like -- a rich lady strolling through Beverly Hills after ample dosings of Botox and collagen: Sickening, stomach-turning, and you hate yourself for looking.

Tuesday's episode kicks off precisely where we left off in the first half of Season 5. Sean McNamara's (Dylan Walsh) crazy agent Colleen Rose (a spooky Sharon Gless), has stabbed the fair doctor like a stuffed pig inside the O.R. as he prepares to operate on his daughter, post-car accident. After we're forced to watch him gurgle blood onto the floor, again, we jump four months into the future to find Sean very much alive, though wheelchair-bound, and teaching med-school classes. Oh, and he's not ready to be a surgeon again, OK? "I am not ready to operate!" declares Sean with the flair of a lame Scarlett O'Hara.

Sean's partner, Christian (Julian McMahon), accompanies their long-suffering assistant Liz (the very fine Roma Maffia) to a pre-plastic surgery screening and, while there, discovers that he himself has a life-threatening illness. (I can't reveal more than this as this plot-point provides the only real action in the first episode.) Like everything in his life, Christian handles the news like a real a-hole and subsequently pursues a meaningless sexual encounter.

Just a few details from previous episodes, the first depicting the erstwhile Miami docs as L.A. transplants, are addressed in this episode. Sean's ex-wife Julia (Joely Richardson), whom we don't actually see, is still recovering from having been poisoned by her ex-lesbian lover's teenage daughter (duh). Oh, and Matt, Sean and Julia's loser son, has announced he will be attending community college to take pre-med courses because seeing his father in a wheelchair has inspired him to do good (!).

I've long been a fan of FX's bold programming, and at one time Nip/Tuck fit nicely into its envelope-pushing lineup. But if the net wants to keep viewers raptured, especially like those of Damages, the finest drama currently not on HBO or Showtime, Nip/Tuck needs to get over the soapy silliness and rediscover its roots.

At its core, the show is about self-loathing and the impermanence of beauty. But too much camp and cockamamie storylines have obscured the program's initial grit, and in turn the talent of its cast. So here's hoping show creator Ryan Murphy has gotten all the telenovela out of his system and makes good use of what might be his show's swan-song season.

And if he doesn't, it will just be further proof that perfection -- or in this case, kickass compelling TV -- is as fleeting as it is elusive.

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