Over seven seasons, Nip/Tuck has given basic cable television a serious facelift, introducing viewers to some of the most creative, bizarre, edgy TV not on HBO or Showtime.

With their personal and professional transgressions, plastic surgeons Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh) and Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) have wreaked havoc on Miami and L.A. They’ve bedded women, compromised personal ethics, screwed up their families and alienated themselves from just about everyone along the way. It’s been clever, compelling, unpredictable television.

So when Nip/Tuck stitches things up for good on March 3 in its series finale, we’ll be sorry to see it go. While it’s impossible to revisit every event that made us salivate for new seasons, certain things are etched in our memories forever — and many of them have to do with the bizarre clients that Sean and Christian encountered over the years.

So long, McNamara/Troy. We’ll miss hearing what your patients don’t like about themselves. But in honor of them, we’re recounting your top 10 strangest surgeries.

BARBIE BOOBS: In a recent episode, a couple — who met at a doll convention and claimed they were perfectly happy in a sexless relationship — were trying to become human replicas of Barbie and Ken. In order for the woman to more accurately resemble a naked Barbie, she wanted Sean and Christian to completely remove her nipples, areola and all. Once she’d completed the surgery, “Ken” realized he was gay, dumped her, and hooked up with a G.I. Joe lookalike. (And by the way, Sean slept with her, sans nipples.)

BUTT FACE: After a drunken fraternity prank went wrong, the docs were summoned to a frat house because the prospective patients couldn’t come in for a consult. That’s because two guys’ faces had been glued to another dude’s butt cheeks. In order to separate the trio, Sean and Christian had to remove pieces of the kid’s posterior, and later performed skin grafts to reconstruct his ass.

FOSSIL FETUS: After losing a bunch of weight, a woman who played Mrs. Claus at the mall went in for a last bit of lipo, to complete her new, healthful image for the children at Santa’s Village. While in surgery, the doctors found (and removed) a calcified fetus. The married patient had never known she was pregnant, but believed the fetus to be a product of an affair she had 17 years prior. Ho, ho, ho!

CALCULATING CORPSE: Mrs. Grubman, a plastic surgery-addicted recurring character, had been turned away by the Christian in the past after having too many procedures. But when she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, she requested one last favor from her beloved surgeon: Post-mortem plastic surgery, so that she could look divine at her funeral.

BREAST IN PEACE: For a French patient, merely cherishing the memory of her deceased husband wasn’t adequate. So, she visited McNamara/Troy to have her late husband’s ashes injected into her saline breast implants. Creepy, right? It gets worse! It was later revealed that she was actually his mistress, and had stolen his ashes from his wife.

BABY GOT BACK: In one of the most ridiculous and hilarious episodes, Jennifer Coolidge guest starred as a patient who recently discovered she had a touch of African-American heritage. Naturally, she decided to start a rap career — but not without butt implants, which she felt would more adequately reflect her cultural background. (See “Hot Coco’s” video, “Yo Stank,” here.)

YOGA POSE: An extremely flexible and well-endowed yoga instructor discovered he could give himself fellatio. He became so addicted to it, that he found it impossible to leave the house or do anything else, for that matter. So, he visited McNamara/Troy to …. wait for it … have his penis shortened.

HONEYMOON BUFFET: After getting stuck in a snowstorm for ten days during her honeymoon, a hypoglycemic woman began hallucinating. Her husband helped her snap out of it by cutting out pieces of his arm, heating them up with cigarette lighter and feeding them to her. She was disgusted by the incident, so she asked Sean and Christian to fix her husband’s scars. But hubby got an infection after the surgery, and the docs couldn’t figure out why. Come to find out that the wife had sliced out parts of her own forearm, and fed them to her beloved in order to return the favor.

I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU: A man wanted to propose to his Japanese girlfriend, but first needed to make a change to impress her xenophobic parents. So, he requested surgery to make his eyes look Japanese. In the end, her parents didn’t buy it, but were so impressed with his dedication to their daughter, they gave the union their blessing.

STRANDED ON DEATH ROW: Prison officials asked Sean and Christian to give an obese death-row prisoner liposuction because he was too fat to be properly executed. The docs were totally opposed to it, until they were promised that their son, Matt (Christian is the bio dad, but Sean raised him), who was in prison for armed robbery, would be released. Before the surgery, Matt found out that the obese man was actually innocent, but let the events play out in order to be released.

Tags: nip/tuck