Maisy Fernandez,
Aug 20, 2008
Ever since we bought a house earlier this year, I've become a bit obsessed with checking out other people's homes. I've watched a whole lot of HGTV, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I still watch a little MTV Cribs now and then, too.
In addition to giving me some possible decorating ideas (thanks, Ali Landry), I've been re-reminded of how entertaining a segment of Cribs can be. Sometimes, you can forget all about the house. (Examples: when we discovered Joss Stone has a Rottweiler named Missy Elliott, or when Snoop Dogg declared "We keep it gangsta up in [the freezer]: Popsicles, Leggo my Eggos.")
Here are five highly entertaining episodes of Cribs that are worth checking out.
Bret Michaels:
The only real difference between the Rock of Love mansion and Bret Michaels' Arizona estate is that there are fewer half-naked skanks. Bret still rides his motorcycle through his house, wears his bandanna/wig set and displays his official "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" guitar. And when he walks in the kitchen, some classy young lady wearing a naughty nurse Halloween costume is fixing him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, sans crust. Nice.
House highlights: Outdoor pool table; a really cool, rugged coffee table; and the authentic cow skull that Bret's daughters bedazzled for him.
In the fridge: Salad spritzer, insulin and Starbucks frappuccinos.
Quote: "This is the '04 Mercedes s500. It has the most important thing when you live in the southwest. It has a system that actually refrigerates your butt cheeks."
Redman:
Talk about keeping it real. I've seen more put-together fraternity houses than this rapper's Staten Island townhouse --
and I love it because Redman straight up does not care. He's got a big piles of clothes and miscellaneous stuff in the corners of his bedroom, living room and dining room. He irons on the floor; his closet is in shambles; and his video game systems are strewn all around, their entangled wires looking like a pack of cooked Ramen noodles. The most organized thing here is the home studio and DVD collection.
House highlights: Redman keeps a "dollar box" on top of his fridge, in case he needs money to run for the store for something. His doorbell must be hot wired to work.
Hygiene: Redman uses Noxema and Herbal Essences body wash. At least something gets cleaned here.
Quote: "The vibe I'm looking for in this apartment is bachelor's crib." Mission accomplished.
Mariah Carey:
Mariah's Cribs is so ridiculous, it got its own half hour special. We see her magnificent Manhattan penthouse, but it's totally overshadowed by Mariah's constant outfit changes and bizarre behavior. She answered the door in a cocktail dress that needed some double-sided tape. She wore a sweatsuit for the kitchen and laundry room tour; a cream colored teddy during the tour of her lingerie closet and her birthday suit to show off her jacuzzi tub. But coup de gras is when she donned a super-short cocktail dress and four-inch stilettos, then proceeded to her gym and worked out on the stair stepper.
House highlights: View of the Empire State Building and the biggest closet ever made.
Quotes: "I've only used this shower once because there are too many knobs to figure out. ... I really don't know how to use most of this [exercise equipment]." Enjoy yourself, Nick Cannon. The intellectual conversation in your house must be quite stimulating.
Perez Hilton:
Perez himself is actually kind of boring (did you seem him on Celebrity Rap Superstar? Lame!). But when he answered his door wearing a big, furry robe and bunny slippers, his Cribs seemed promising. The self-proclaimed "gossip gangsta" showed off his minimalist-style apartment, during which time he raved about the "#1 Son" magnet his mother got him. Oh wait, did I mention his mother showed up as well? Some people have over their homies during Cribs ... Perez wears a robe and invites his mom. Personally, though, we were more intrigued by his kitchen counter, which was empty except for a bottle of vodka and a lot of dog treats.
House highlights: His second bedroom, which has been converted into a closet; and a pink Hello Kitty guitar.
Quote: "A California King bed is the only size big enough for this queen."
Dale Earnhardt, Jr.:
To Dale Earnhardt Jr., the poker room and the dining room are one and the same. "There's a top that goes on this poker table in case you want to eat dinner, but we never do that," he said. Shortly after, we heard the potential reason why: "Nobody ever taught me how to cook. Sometimes I have to force myself to eat it." He redeemed himself later by showing off the miniature Western town that he built on his property --
seriously, it's like a Deadwood set --
which is perhaps the most unique addition we've seen to any celebrity home. Among other things, Dale's "Whiskey River" town has its own saloon, hotel and jail. The party possibilities here are endless.
House highlights: Corvette collection, his basement chill room based on a painting from "Good Times" and two pet buffalo named Laverne and Shirley.
In the fridge: Budweiser, Bud Light, Amp, Jell-O Pudding Pops, and barbecued ribs from the Rendezvous restaurant in Memphis.
Quote: "I like books. They're good for when you're in the john." Or in jail.
