Is it time for Jon Minus Kate?

The stars of the hit TLC reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8 continue to air their dirty laundry in public this week, as Kate Gosselin appears on the cover of People magazine alongside a provocative headline: "We Might Split Up." Inside, she tells the mag: "I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing."

If you believe the tabloids, what Jon wants is to be romping with a 23-year-old school teacher. As for the latest round of counter-claims, Kate denies any hanky-panky with her married bodyguard.

But anyone who has watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 -- in which cameras roll as the Gosselins raise their 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets -- knows this has been a troubled paradise since the series premiered in 2007. The fifth season premieres May 25.

While we don't relish the couple's recent troubles, we can't pass up an opportunity to pit the battling Gosselins against each other in a TV Throwdown.

BODY LANGUAGE
Fans may say there's nothing but love seeping out in every episode, but since the beginning there has been unmistakable body langauge from Jon that cries "Get me out of here." The Soup has turned Jon's body language into a regular feature. Every expression says he'd rather be sitting in a dentist chair waiting for a tooth extraction without drugs than hear one more word from Kate. Kate's body language seems confined to her mouth. So this round goes to Jon.
Jon: 1
Kate: 0

TEACHER'S PET
Don't you just know that Kate was the kid in the classroom who always had her hand waving wildly with the "Pick me! Pick me!" attitude? She's the one who would rat out the kid who peeked at her answers, and always brought in the spotless homework folders. Probably tastefully decorated. On the other hand, it was Jon who (allegedly) scored some major points with the 23-year-old teacher with whom he (allegedly) is having an affair. So, for excelling in his (allegedly) extracurricular activities, we'll give this one to Jon.
Jon: 2
Kate: 0

WEARING THE PANTS
No one puts Kate in the corner. She has zero filter when it comes to thinking before she speaks. We still can't get over the time she blasted Jon for breathing. Breathing, for god's sake! Then she went nuts when he forgot to use a coupon at the store. Can you imagine what's going on now with the whole stepping-out issue? Jon's famous for keeping his mouth shut during these on-air confrontations when Kate berates and belittles Jon with such bitterness. Many people have wondered when Jon might grow some man berries, but we figure he'll just remain the passive-aggressive type. This one goes to Kate big time.
Jon: 2
Kate: 1

ENERGY LEVEL
No doubt about this one. It would take a chain of Starbucks working overtime to get Jon moving faster than turtle speed. He's the ultimate slug, while Kate generates enough energy to power an entire Third World country. She's in constant motion, whether scrambling after the kids or making her own organic foods from scratch. Which, we would like to point out, is interesting. One early episode was devoted to her making soup to freeze so they could save money. Yet the entire clan goes on more vacations in a season than most people take in a lifetime. And, we're thinking that even a basic cable network like TLC is shelling out major bucks to this couple. Oh, the challenge. Yeah, that goes to Kate in a landslide.
Jon: 2
Kate: 2

PARENTING SKILLS
No one can wrangle kids the way Kate does. She's got the organization down to a perfect science, with the kids looking crisp as new lettuce every time we see them. However, there's that inner diva that just keeps bursting out at the most inopportune times. Like when Kate had another meltdown when one of the sextuplets spilled ice cream on her shirt during a trip to Disneyland. She screamed that her day was ruined. She screamed, they screamed, we all screamed for "ice cream"? Settle down, Kate. Kids get dirty and ice cream happens. While Jon tends to get silently frustrated, he seems to be an OK dad. But with Jon's priorities elsewhere these days, we've got to give it to Kate by the slimmest of margins.
Jon: 2
Kate: 3

Bottom line: Jon's no match for Kate's drive and organizational skills. See you in divorce court!

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