Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns this week, after a hiatus during which the good people at TLC tried to figure out exactly what to do with the title characters of their most popular series, now that they are divorcing and no longer living together. It has been a hectic few months.

At the beginning of 2009, Jon and Kate were figures of only mild curiosity, stars of a niche show on a niche channel. By the summer, they were gossip fixtures on a scale not seen since it looked like Britney Spears was going insane. It merely took the sudden death of the most famous entertainer in the world to finally knock them off tabloid covers.

Word is that the trademark awkward interview segments featuring a hectoring Kate and a sheepish Jon have been scuttled, and the exes will now provide interviews separately. But there are also questions about whether the all-American appeal of the Gosselins will hold up now that they are openly living as wealthy celebrities -- augmented in Jon's case by some serious post-divorce acting out. We have obtained summaries of upcoming episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and they reveal that the series will definitely be undergoing some changes that reflect the family's new prominence.

August 10: It's back to school time for the Gosselins, made especially exciting by the fact that the sextuplets are getting ready for kindergarten! Kate packs the brood up for a shopping trip, but discovers that Neiman-Marcus has a limited selection of crayons and lunchboxes. Meanwhile, Jon tearfully resolves to do whatever he can to become a better father and help his children get past the pain of divorce -- but first things first: there's an important club opening to go. Word has it that both Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson will be there!

August 17: Kate takes the kids to the park, where Aaden and Joel have trouble building castles in the sandbox. Mommy hates to see her boys frustrated, so she calls up her close personal friends the Army Corps of Engineers to show them how it's done. Jon worries that he hasn't spent enough time lately with older daughters Cara and Mady, so he takes them out for ice cream, buying them both an extra scoop so they will be occupied while he's at the hole in the wall next door getting a pair of dice tattooed on his buttocks.

August 24: Both Gosselin parents have been careful about shielding their children from magazine covers during the crisis time in their marriage, but Mady manages to flip over a Life and Style during a trip to the grocery store and sees her daddy on the cover. This forces Jon to have a heart-to-heart talk with the kids, highlighted by an explanation of the meaning of the word "douchebag." Kate worries that she hasn't had her hair done all week, so she rings up her very good friend Oprah Winfrey and the ladies make an afternoon of it. Kate makes sure to tip the salon staff, always a polite move when they have had impromptu babysitting duty.

August 31: Jon introduces the sextuplets to his latest girlfriend, but they are puzzled because this "mommy" seems to be a different one than the woman they met only three days before -- not to mention looking a lot like the high school senior who lives down the street. Kate and Jon have a tense face-off during which she insists that it is far too early for him to be flaunting his new conquests before their young children. The argument is so loud that Kate's new pool boy, gardener, chauffeur, and live-in air conditioner repairman overhear the entire thing.

September 7: On this special Labor Day episode, Kate reminds the children that work is dignified, and an important part of contributing to society and achieving self-reliance ... but not so important that either of their parents are going to try it for themselves. She and Jon patch up their differences to take the brood on a holiday visit to Hershey Park, which they have rented for the occasion. Parents usually worry about losing their children at the amusement park, but this time it's Daddy who goes missing when Jon makes out with the girl selling cotton candy.

September 14: When Collin is bothered by a bully at school, it's Mommy to the rescue as she calls on the services of her dear friend Barack Obama, who decrees that the five year-old should be sent to Guantanamo. Jon heads to the Bahamas for the weekend with a cute little barista he met at the airport, all the while nagged by the thought that there is something he forgot -- oh no! It's the sextuplets' birthdays! Sparing no expense for his children, he hires satellite time so that he can wish them happy birthday right there on the beach. Now that's true love.

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