John Rich Wins Celebrity Apprentice

Maisy Fernandez May 23, 2011

I think we can all agree on one thing: That this has been the greatest season EVER of Celebrity Apprentice.

Still, last night’s season finale felt a little underwhelming, if only because the two finalists behave like civilized human beings, which makes two hours drag out an awfully long time.

The second half of the final challenge between John Rich and Marlee Matlin played out — a fairly boring affair, spare for a few highlights. 1. Marlee’s 7Up commercial was a total embarrassment, even with the help of 1970′s 7Up pitch man Geoffrey Holder. 2. Def Leppard was 20 minutes late coming to the stage at John Rich’s 7Up event, but Rich saved the day (and marketed his own music) by twanging out a few of his own tunes.

Despite Matlin’s phenomenal, record-breaking fund-raising efforts during the season, Rich — who was undeniably the most solid overall player — took home the Celebrity Apprentice title. He also got Donald Trump to briefly put on and take off a cowboy hat during which time we actually saw a piece of Trump’s infamous combover move, so extra kudos for that.

But it was the return of the other mental hospital escapees celebrities (except for Richard Hatch, who is back in the slammer) that helped keep us awake until 11 to find out who won.

Gary Busey offered up more stream of consciousness ramblings and introduced a tangible version of his Omaha Steaks kite idea (don’t ask). Lacking any form of internal editor, Meatloaf babbled on so incessantly that Donald Trump put a fork in him a couple of different times. And was it just us, or did David Cassidy keep leaning down when Star Jones was on camera so that he could get in the shot?

But the biggest dust up of the night was when Jones and NeNe Leakes held another screamathon, yelling so loudly over the top of one another that you couldn’t even hear what either of them were saying. Not that anyone cared anymore; the point is that these women appear to HATE each other’s guts.

And that’s when Donald Trump cemented the final Crazy Gary Busey Moment of the season. He said to NeNe, “Someday, you and Star will go to lunch and be best friends.”

Really, Donald? How’s that idea working out for you and Rosie O’Donnell?

Until next season, y’all!