That whiny little she-dog is finally out of the competition.

If you haven't been tuning in, CBS's Greatest American Dog is off the leash. This week, Brandy, a 27-year-old fashion designer, and her Miniature Schnauzer, Beacon, got kicked to the curb. Really too bad for Beacon, a sweet little dog I met about two weeks ago in L.A. At the time, I think Beacon was begging me with her eyes to get her away from this wacky bitch.

Brandy seems to think it's cool to put this poor pooch in designer togs and strap matching booties on Beacon's paws. I used to get after my son for putting tape on the bottom of the cat's feet, and this is just as bad. Slap that girl with a rolled up newspaper.

No matter how many times the judges explained to her that they didn't want to see Beacon tortured by fashion any more, Brandy just wouldn't stop. Finally, poor Beacon just shut down on her. Saucy tell-it-like-it-is Laurie, a doggie daycare owner, explained just that to us -- well, actually, the camera. You gotta treat a dog like a dog, she lectured. Talking to dogs like they are furry little humans is just wack.

Well, that's one woman's opinion. I'm just ticked that Brandy couldn't let the dog just kick back once in a while. A dog's life indeed.

Any doubt that TV's going to the dogs this summer? Check out these dog shows -- and we're not just talking mutts -- in our countdown.

9. He's spoiled, aggressive, jealous and controlling. And we're not talking David Hasselhoff. Brit dog trainer Victoria Stilwell collars unruly canines threatening to break up couples and destroy families in Animal Planet's It's Me or the Dog.

8. Ah, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog appeared recently on Late Night with Conan O'Brien to present his hilarious visit to the 2008 Comic Con in San Diego. As he told one young man, "If you are here, who is home disappointing your parents?"

7. The Dr. Phil of dogs, Cesar Millan has all new episodes The Dog Whisperer on Friday on the National Geographic Channel -- yeah, if it was a sound it would be one only dogs could hear. Still, we love watching him fix dogs like Reggie, who likes to eat leashes like they were candy. Ah, we can still hear the patient Cesar calling out, "More leashes!"

6. Really, did every news channel across the country have to do the Olympic dog story? Yeah, the one about how the Chinese government administered a warning that all restaurants were to stop putting dog on the menu. As one restaurant owner said, I guess not everyone understands that dogs are fine to eat.

5. Who let the dogs out? Carson Kressley's a sweet man, but How to Look Good Naked is something no one really wants to see on TV. And more to the point, maybe we'll have to get Brandy's back on this one when it comes to putting on a few clothes.

4. Doggone it, ABC's all weepy over the low ratings of High School Musical: Get in the Picture. No one seems to want to watch how you can become Shar Pei, they just want to see that little bitch in action.

3. Presidential hopeful John McCain is in the dog house after he ran an ad comparing Barack Obama to other air-headed celebs. He dogged Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Momma and poppa Hilton had actually donated to McCain's campaign, leading Jon Stewart to ask how the Hilton's felt after McCain "took a nationally television dump on your daughter." The bim-bulb took her case to the Internet in a video showing her own bid for the presidency.

2. Any parent who thinks the N's new series Queen Bees is about a group of girls interested in bee-keeping best take another look. These she-dogs have quite a bite.

1. Yes, we've gotten to the tail end of the list where we're talking about b-girls. And if you haven't been watching Sunset Tan, or at least the clips on The Soup, you've missed this pair of bim-bulbs who have lost their jobs and are now reduced to letting party-goers eat sushi off their bare bods.

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