• Brad and Angelina are forced to exercise amongst the unwashed masses, despite their earnest pleas to be spared such indignity.
• I bet Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson have really deep pillow talk. “I know many consider Thus Spoke Zarathustra to be Nietzsche’s most important work, Jess, but I’ve personally always felt it to be Ecce Homo, with its ultimate emphasis on transvaluation.” “I concur, Dane. So very heartily.”
• Just what Kelly Ripa needs: another television show.
• Sigourney Weaver injures her knee on a trampoline while filming a movie. “You have to learn what not to do with your knees,” says the actress, ostensibly to Lindsay Lohan.

The Evil Beet
Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.