No, I'm not talking about Blue Harvest. Or Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. I'm not speaking of anything that airs on Fox TV. It seems some loyal fans would like to see the show take its fart jokes, celebrity slams and all-around zany, no punch-pulling self to the big screen. Much like South Park or The Simpsons.

Hmm ... yes, that makes perfect sense. Why wouldn't I want to pay $9.25 to watch a two-hour-ish Family Guy episode on a larger screen that I could watch for free from the comfort of my own couch? And think of the stunning cartoon special effects. Family Guy a la cinema would be so much better and different than seeing it on the boob tube.

Certainly, yes ... yeesss!

Or no.

Though quite fond of Family Guy the TV show, I'm not convinced Family Guy the movie won't disappoint if it's just a small-screen script stretched to fit a larger screen. Especially since most episodes are simply a series of distractions loosely pieced together. However, after giving it some thought, I've tried to imagine how Seth MacFarlane and crew might transport Family Guy to a new venue AND a new level that could make it all worthwhile.

1. Family Guy the Rapsical
Apparently this past November Family Guy's cast stepped on stage at NYC's Carnegie Hall to sing -- in the flesh. So a full-length cartoon musical can't be much harder, but could be much cooler if it included Kanye West, 50 Cent, (OK, maybe not the two together), and other rappers as themselves (voice-wise) in a hip-hop extravaganza. Or a popsical with Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake and such. With a specially-composed soundtrack. And perhaps a crazy new dance. The boxing chicken, the Stewie bootie shake... Ah, the possibilities!

2. Family Guy Shows Some Skin
Of course I'm not talking skin, as in Skinimax or skin mags, or I am but with more clothes. Why not go a little Roger Rabbit and mingle actual red-blooded actors with computer-generated cartoons? Meg dates a Jonas brother. Lois dukes it out with Angelina Jolie.

3. Family Guy 3D
Does anyone think 3D is worth it anymore? It's a thought.

4. Quagmire's New Best Friend: Brad Pitt the Bulldog and Other New Pals
Disney does it all the time and it works. Minus the rapsical theme, why not incorporate the voices of famous celebrities as themselves or new characters?

5. Give the Reigns to a Guest Director or Animator
Let Dreamworks or Beowulf's CGI wizes, or Sin City director Frank Miller, Quentin Tarantino or other artists add a little something unexpected to the usual Griffin landscape.

6. Anyone else have any brilliant ideas?

7. Don't do it.
We're just fine with naked Peter on our wide-screen TVs. Bigger isn't necessarily better.

Seth Says...
In an interview during the July 2008 Television Critics Association press tour Seth MacFarlane did hint that he had movie plans -- "definitely something you could not do on the show."

I hope that means more than graphic poo close-ups, pointless nudity or extreme obscenities. Though I'm guessing they're all a strong possibility, and in line with Family Guy's crass charm.

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