When Dancing with the Stars was an unexpectedly big success in the summer of 2005, it opened the door for a whole new loopy genre of reality series. Far beyond simple “celebreality”, these shows are not content to simply film B (and C, and D) list celebrities interacting, or even dating. Instead, they get the celebs involved in some sort of dorky activity, including ice skating and karaoke. So is it really any surprise that with scripted shows in short supply NBC would present us with Clash of the Choirs just in time for the holidays?

Clash doesn’t just give us the standard celebrity + cheesy sparkley costume forumla. Oh no…there is a big dash of human interest thrown in there, and most of it will give you a far bigger sugar rush than that pan of fudge you just ate. The celebrities have been instructed to choose their choirs from their hometowns, and they are competing for charity. As if this weren’t enough, each choir has a sob story; Nick Lachey’s choir has the husband and daughter of a woman fighting cancer, Kelly Rowland’s has a Katrina survivor, Blake Shelton’s has two guys in the Army, and Michael Bolton has a domestic violence survivor, and Patti LaBelle’s choir has…um…a guy with a really bad John Oates haircut. She’s Patti LaBelle, so I guess she thinks she doesn’t need any more poignancy.

Would you please excuse me for a moment while I interrupt this entry for a PSA? You, (and the rest of America) will thank me.

MICHAEL BOLTON! BUTTON YOUR SHIRT THIS INSTANT! Er.. please.

Sorry. It’s just…nobody needs to see that.

There were some human interest-y bits that I did enjoy. Nick Lachey put a childhood sweetheart in his choir. Michael Bolton (who in the past 15 years has not gotten any cooler–I noticed as he air guitared on the choir director’s stand during his team’s performance) cast a 77 year old. Blake Shelton (I don’t follow country music at all so I don’t know who he is, but he sure does have the crazy eyes) asked an auditioning choir master for advice on the choir’s composition, but didn’t put him in the choir. By and large, however, I resented feeling emotionally manipulated.

I.A. is correct in his assertion that LaBelle’s choir blew the other four out of the water, but I have to say (and don’t think I’m not embarassed to admit this) that I really did enjoy all of the performances. Now, that was 5 performances, which probably made up no more than a fourth of the two hour schlock and cheese fest. It’s kind of like the M&Ms in trail mix–is it really worth eating all of those raisins just for a few bits of chocolate?

I’ll keep watching Clash of the Choirs for the rest of the week, although I will probably DVR it so I can fast-forward through everything but the performances. With the WGA conflict no closer to a resolution, I look forward to seeing what other entries in the loopy-celebrity-reality-competition genre the networks come up with. War of the Marching Bands? Celebrity Dungeonmaster? Scrapbooking with the Stars? How about Clash of the Clash Choirs as a spin off of this one–just the same, except the choirs sing only Clash songs. Now that I would watch!

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Amy Kane spends as much quality time with her television as possible, when she’s not busy at her day job as a cube dweller.