I recently finished watching the entire series of The Wire, via Netflix. All the while, the functional drunkenness of Detective Jimmy McNulty reminded me of another TV character, but I couldn't put my finger on it until last week. Then it hit me: McNulty is like the cop version of Californication's Hank Moody, a boozing, pot-smoking, womanizing writer.

So, they seemed like a perfect match-up for a TV Throwdown. Bottoms up!

Functionality while under the influence: When Hank drinks, he "accidentally" has sex with other women, including the "mouth raping" encounter during the most recent season.
McNulty does the same, but he also drives home every time, endangering the lives of others. Also, McNulty is an incredibly sloppy drunk -- so much so that we can't imagine why women would still sleep with him when he can't even walk. Gross.
Hank: 1
McNulty: 0

Fathering skills: Hank and McNulty both love their kids, though they could both be much more attentive. Still, when McNulty left his young boys alone in the middle of the night to go get laid, that was just too much.
Now that Karen is moving to New York, Hank is about to have full custody of Becca -- and their relationship is a close one. That shows more responsibility than we see coming from McNulty.
Hank: 2
McNulty: 0

Work ethic: When they're inspired, both men are pretty much the best at what they do. McNulty is one of the most talented murder and major crimes policemen to ever have worked in Baltimore. He has a natural instinct, and doesn't let anything (including bosses or rules) get in the way of solving a case.
Hank is a brilliant, best-selling writer, but has several stretches of writer's block (read: unemployment) under his belt.
Hank: 2
McNulty:1

Relationship potential: Is there really any relationship potential with two serial cheaters? I think these guys love their women as much as they're capable of loving a person. But their dipsticks run the show, so nobody wins.
Hank: 2
McNulty: 1

Personal hygiene: Let's be real: Both of these guys can appear incredibly disheveled.
When McNulty was working on the (bogus) serial killer case in season five, he sometimes went days without taking showers. He went to work, then on a bender at night, then home with some random woman, and then would return to work -- in the same clothes -- reeking of sex and alcohol. Three days in a row. Shudder.
While Hank doesn't have a great variety in his wardrobe (his closet must be filled with black t-shirts and jeans), you can never see the fumes rising from his body like Pig-Pen in Peanuts. He may not always be clean-shaven, but he's usually clean.
Hank: 3
McNulty: 1

Bottom line: Both Hank and McNulty have tried to stop drinking, but we think Hank has the most potential to lead a relatively normal life. Especially now that he's got Becca to look out for. If that won't make a man grow up, nothing will.

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