On a poster for her current Circus tour, Britney Spears walks a tightrope in high heels. That’s why we love her: she’s not the best singer or dancer or anything else, but she’s the death-defying champion of dramatizing her constant peril of a fatal fall in the biggest, sweatiest spotlight the pop world ever saw.

When she screws up, it only attracts still more flashbulbs, ratcheting up her fame another excruciating notch, putting more pressure on her frail psyche. In the epoch of reality TV, she’s the ne plus ultra of the genre’s irresistible attractions: Fame, shame, pain, humiliation, and titanic triumph.

See pictures of Britney Spears

No matter how big a stink raised by her performances or private life, she comes out smelling like a rose, at least fiscally. Since 2004, she’s sold a billion dollars’ worth of perfume alone. So on the occasion of her latest comeback, we toast the nation’s nuttiest pop princess with our Film.com Fever Chart, which documents the highs and lows of our favorite celebrities. If you think we’ve left out any highs (or lows), sound off loud in the comments section below!

At age 8, brunette Britney auditions for Disney’s All New Mickey Mouse Club. She gets rejected. Temperature: 28.6 degrees

At 9, stars as an evil child in an Off-Broadway revival of The Bad Seed called Ruthless. Her road-kill-eating Uncle “Road Kill” Willie Spears says, “She is a ruthless little thing, make no mistake. Nobody controls her. She bosses everyone around her.” Temperature: 98.7 degrees

At 10, makes it onto Star Search in the Junior Vocalist category.Temperature: 98.8 degrees

At last, beats out 15,000 other kids (including Jessica Simpson, 12) to join the Mouse Club. So do driven, talented tykes Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Keri Russell and Ryan Gosling — all of them arguably more talented than Britney. But not as driven. Temperature: 99.9 degrees

See pictures of Jessica Simpson

Disney kills the Mouse Club. Britney goes home to teensy Kentwood, Louisiana, washed up, and lives the ultimate horror: one year as a normal 14-year-old student. “When I was at home it was weird, it was the same thing every week,” she kvetches. Temperature: 38.6 degrees

Does a tour of shopping malls to build brand awareness. Temperature: 98.5 degrees

Releases first single, “Baby One More Time,” poses on cover with head tilted like a cross between the RCA Victor dog and a girl hosting her Sweet 16 birthday party in her bedroom with her parents out of town and one guest. Instantly becomes the youngest singer ever to hit Number One with a first album and single. Temperature: 120 degrees

Gets bossy and trampy on the set of her first video, tying up her top to reveal more flesh: “It was my idea because at first we were wearing boring Catholic outfits and I didn’t want it to be boring and cheesy.” She wanted it to be shocking and cheesecake-y. Temperature: 150 degrees

See photos of Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan, 13, reads about Britney and says to herself, “I want to be chased by the paparazzi.” Proof that Britney has made it as an icon. Britney wanted to be Madonna; Lindsay wanted to be Britney. Temperature: 160 degrees

Nominated for Best New Artist and Best Female Pop Vocalist. Loses twice. Critic Jim Farber presciently writes that her oddly grownup voice “loses the freshness of her age, making her seem like those annoyingly ambitious kids who try so hard to please grownups that they never really become themselves.” Temperature: 110 degrees

Rushes out followup album, Oops, I Did it Again. Forces the world to admit she’s the best new pop thing since Madonna. Loses another two Grammys. Who cares? Temperature: 160 degrees

Sales fall by 50 percent for her third album. Allegedly virginal four-year affair with Justin Timberlake (the ultimate good career move for appealing to teenage girls’ fantasies) fails. Louisiana-themed restaurant in New York City goes bad like old seafood. Movie debut in Crossroads stinks worse. Wins Razzie Award for Worst Actress and Worst Song. Avoids starring in Scream, plays one of Austin Powers’ Fembots. Becomes the first failure in history to be named Most Powerful Person in Entertainment by Forbes and sell 70 million units. Temperature: 120 degrees

Wins first Grammy at last for “Toxic.” Says the sexy image she created is misleading. “I’m still clean living,” she says. “I mean, I don’t go home and have orgies or anything.” Temperature: 138.6 degrees

After tippling at the Ghostbar in Vegas, marries a high-school chum. Instead of a wedding dress, wears ripped jeans and a baseball cap. Marriage ends two days later. And they said it wouldn’t last! A few months later, marries backup dancer and backup husband Kevin Federline. People think him a bimbo. Later, he proves to be the relatively solid member of the wedding. Temperature: 111.6 degrees

Jealous of her Mouse Club rival Jessica Simpson’s reality show about her love life (her third-favorite show after Sex and the City and Friends), airs her own dirty laundry on Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Temperature: 128.6 degrees

Goes in and out of drug rehabs like somebody playing with the revolving doors at a clothing store. Shaves her head bald. Temperature: 101 degrees

Check out Hollywood’s Hottest Blondes

Having spurned Playboy‘s offer of a million dollars to pose naked, she gives it away instead, flashing her pantyless pudenda to paparazzi. Later, Lindsay Lohan flashes her own fiery crotch. These girls are a bad influence — on each other. Temperature: 99 degrees

Gives the worst performance in the history of MTV’s Music Awards. Gets busted, goes mental, loses kids. “It has to do with the fact that she was never allowed to have a childhood,” Madonna tells People. Temperature: 88 degrees

Comes back bigtime with Circus, her first record since the first one to rack up back-to-back Top Ten singles. Instead of unquestioningly endorsing anything George Bush decides to do, which made her unpopular in the age of Bush, she backs same-sex unions, making her popular in the age of Obama. As long as she stays crazy like a fox instead of just plain crazy, her future is unstoppable. Temperature: 159 degrees

A young woman gets busted peeping into the windows of Britney’s home when she’s out touring. The trespasser’s motive? Career ambition: E! News says Miranda Tozier-Robbins, 26, got to the second round in the American Idol auditions by singing Britney’s “Everytime.” Tozier-Robbins’ case raises an intriguing question: if you’re trying to make it on reality TV by making yourself at home at Britney’s home, presumably to steal her real life, what if nobody’s home? What if there is no reality to steal? Still, it’s proof of Britney’s centrality to our culture. She’s the circusmaster of modern times. Temperature: 169 degrees

Got Fever Chart fever? Read more: Drew Barrymore: Fever Chart!, Britney Spears: Fever Chart!, Oprah Winfrey: Fever Chart!, Miley Cyrus: Fever Chart!, Reese Witherspoon: Fever Chart!, Lauren Conrad: Fever Chart!, and Denise Richards: Fever Chart!.

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