Dre Rivas
Video editor, Film.com contributor, an all around pleasant fella, Dre Rivas' mystery is only exceeded by his power.
Back to School Awards: Picks for the New Semester
Dre Rivas August 31, 2007
You know, it seems like only yesterday that I wrote about some
quality
picks. And here I am already coming up with some new picks for the
school year. Yes, my goal is to ease in the coming semesters for my
learned readers. We’re going to have a little something for everyone
this go-around and right off the bat I’m going to disqualify any of the
movies I mentioned on the previous
(ironically, there’s no Back To School this time). I’ve
elected to split up some school classics into ten award categories.
There were so many other deserving mentions, but we don’t have all day.
So enjoy!
The Most Improbable Teacher Award goes to
School
It might be wise to start your DVD rehabilitation here. Before the
first bell rings on that first fateful day of school this year, close
your eyes and dream of a world where a teacher like Mr. Shoop actually
exists. Also, Courtney Thorne-Smith plays a surfer chick. Just throwing
that one out there.
The Jock Award goes to
Night Lights
One of the best movies ever made about high school football because it
strikes the scary, way too fanatical mentality of some of these smaller
towns. It’s also one more reason to stay out of Texas (with apologies
to Senor Villalobos and Cargill and, um, Texans).
The Poindexter Award goes to
Candles
Once upon a time, Anthony Michael Hall was the only nerd I could look
up to. That’s a problem. When I was in high school, teen movies weren’t
all the craze. Everybody was burned out from ’80s overload. Then the
year I graduated Scream came out and it marked the return of
both the teen and slasher genre all at once. Go figure.
The Driver’s Ed Award goes to
Drive
Sure, I’m passing up better films like Clueless, Election,
Fast Times at Ridgemont High and others, but there’s nothing
more exciting for a high schooler than getting a driver’s license,
except one thing: a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman classic co-starring
Heather Graham. That’s enough to make anyone’s head explode. KABLOOEY!
The Shakespearean Award goes to
Things I Hate About You
One of the better adaptations of the Bard. I wish all teen flicks were
this good. And I wish all teen flicks starred Larry Miller as a parent.
The Porky’s Award goes to
I’m going to say it and I don’t care who looks at me funny. This movie
is better than Porky’s. That’s right. You heard it here,
people. That just happened!
The Bully Award goes to
It was between this and Bully and I didn’t want to depress
anybody. The film’s improbable ending – where little Casey Siemaszko
beats up Richard Tyson simply because he has the awesome power of brass
knuckles – resulted in every kid on my block going out and buying their
own. The irony is they did it not for protection, but to beat up weaker
kids.
The Sociopath Kid Award goes to
Psychos-in-the-making … here’s to you! There will be no
discriminating here. This film always takes me back. Shannen Doherty
before 90210; Christian Slater (pre-rehab) and Winona Ryder
(pre-theft-and-vandalism conviction) were going to be the next big
things. Them was the good ‘ol days.
The Vato Loco Award goes to
One of the best inspirational movies ever. This one took you to the
barrio and back. It gets points for featuring one of the few post-La
Bamba performances by Lou Diamond Phillips worth savoring. By the
way, if you watch closely, you can see Edward James Olmos’ craters
multiply from beginning to end.
The Coolest Expulsion Award goes to
Dude, when I get fired for having an inappropriate relationship with a
student who ends up killing himself, this is the way I want to go out. O
Captain, my Captain! That was pimp.
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Dre writes three times a week for Film.com. He was voted “Most Likely
to Stalk the Prom Queen.” O Fortune!E-mail
him!
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