Wednesday's Movie Releases No Laughing Matter

MaryAnn Johanson,  Apr 04, 2007

It's the Wednesday before Easter, which means that the kids are out of school, and we've got movies opening midweek to take advantage of all that juvenile energy going to waste. And the emphasis is indeed on the juvenile: Are We Done Yet? -- which could serve as a substitute title for the movie itself -- is the totally uncalled-for sequel to Are We There Yet?, and it opens at almost 2,900 venues today, which means it will be impossible to ignore if you hie thee to the multiplex this weekend.

Sony/Revolution insists the first film was a "hilarious family comedy," and Steve Carr, the director of Done, actually believes "this movie has the feel of a traditional, screwball comedy of the '30s and '40s." But wait! It's not all har-de-har-hars! Producer Todd Garner says that:

This film -- about a family that has problems and faces obstacles and doesn't necessarily get along all the time -- makes not only for great comedy but real, heartfelt emotion. You can identify with these characters because they're not a cardboard cutout, picture-perfect family.

And star Ice Cube says:

Even though we've dialed up the comedy, we also try to pull it back into reality, make it a little more slice-of-life -- exactly what everyone is going through in some way.

Granted, these quotes are from the press notes the studio distributes to us critics in the hopes that some of this delusion will rub off on us, but still: What drugs are these folks on, and can I have some? Reverse everything these guys say, and there's the truth: this movie is less realistic than a Road Runner cartoon, and I would not take any children I cared about to see it lest they get it into their impressionable little heads that they should behave like the unbearable brats onscreen.

And then there's Firehouse Dog, opening at almost 2,600 venues today, which isn't quite as excruciating, but almost ... though if you think that CGI-ing a dog's face into mugging, bug-eyed, for the camera is funny, you'll love this one. My favorite quote from the film: someone says of the starring canine, "He smells like rotten tomatoes," which is simply begging for a joke about a certain movie-review aggregation service that lobs overripe fruit in directions well deserved. Jokes about the movie being a dog are optional.

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MaryAnn Johanson
author of The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride
minder of FlickFilosopher.com