Coldplay
Judging from the songs they write, we suspect Coldplay may be moonlighting as doctors themselves. "Death and All His Friends" and "Everything's Not Lost" are for the grievers, "Fix You" is for the broken and battered and "Viva la Vida" is for the manic depressed. No wonder they're so sensitive; all this caring for others is killing their manhood.
Dr. Manly prescribes: arm-wrestling with 263 lb. pipefitter Frank "the Bird" Cusumano; three year subscription to Leg Show magazine; straight razor shave once daily.
