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Jen Yamato

Would You Wear Designer 3-D Glasses?

Face it, folks: 3-D cinema is here to stay. Well, at least for a few more money-grabbing years. And as long as the third dimension is the fashionable value-add in Hollywood, we can look forward to more transformative highs (Avatar!) as well as embarrassing lows (Clash of the Titans, anyone?). Heck, 3-D’s even making a move into our television sets and video games.

Soon we’ll be living our very lives in 3-D!

What’s that? Already living life in three dimensions, you say? The sunglasses experts over at Oakley beg to differ, because they think you’ve been experiencing subpar 3-D. Their latest goal is to “open the world’s eyes to the ultimate 3-D experience,” with sleek new 3-D glasses inspired by the most eyeball-searing film of this season, TRON: Legacy.

The shades are slick. Black. Decorated with enough sprinkles of electric blue graphics that you can pretend you’re Flynn himself being sucked into The Game every time you watch a movie. According to Oakley, they’re the world’s first optically correct 3-D glasses. And they can be yours for just $150. (Standard, non-TRON themed versions of the polarized 3-D glasses are also available for a few bucks less in Oakley’s Gascon line.)

So who’s going to shell out for these fancy pants designer 3-D glasses when you could just keep picking up the disposable plastic ones every time you go to the multiplex?

Early Adopters

You’re one of those tech junkies who has every new gadget and console before anyone else in the world. Spending a little extra cash on a newfangled gizmo is totally worth it for the chance to be on the cutting edge of the next big thing, even if it eventually becomes obsolete. (Your dust-collecting BetaMax, Laser Disk, and HD-DVD players can attest to this.) You’ve already ordered that 3-D TV you’ve had your eye on for months, and you’ll need a good pair of glasses to go along with it…

Picture Quality Proselytes

Your biggest pet peeve when you go to the movies? Blurry 3-D. Murky light levels are also troublesome, but that’s usually a presentation issue that can’t be avoided. (Just say no to post-3-D conversion!) Tired of squinting and holding your head at just the right angle because the picture’s ghosting or fuzzy? Had it with taking off those clunky reusable glasses to wipe off the residual lens cleaner muddling your vision? Your problems are solved once you’ve got your own personal pair of optimally-engineered specs, which offer a wider field of vision, more precise picture alignment, and in theory, superior visual clarity.

3-D GlassesAnti-Hipsters

Admittedly not the biggest selling point of expensive 3-D glasses, but it’s a selling point nonetheless: With designer shades filtering your peepers, you’ll no longer look like a foot soldier in a hipster army when you go see a 3-D movie. For whatever reason, those recyclable specs they give out in most polarized 3-D presentations were designed to look like Wayfarers, meaning that now everyone and their mother are no longer dorky at the movies. Only the Buddy Holly look is so 2005, and you’ve been dying for a way to distinguish yourself from the crowd. A hundred and fifty bucks is a small price to pay for fashion. Well, maybe not. But at least you won’t look like one of those annoying hipsters.

The Eye Cootie-Averse

You’re all for sharing resources and recycling, but sometimes you can’t shake the feeling that your temporary pair of 3-D glasses is still crawling with the last person’s eye cooties. (Moreso with those clunky rubberized digital specs that always seem to still be wet with cleaner, making us wonder if the multiplex employee in charge of sanitizing our pair is as diligent as the guy at the bowling alley handing over your rental shoes with a nonchalant spritz of disinfectant.) And since you’ve learned that “circle, circle, dot, dot” isn’t actually a reliable way of eliminating germs in the real world, some of you would rather avoid all potential contamination by spending — nay, investing — in your own personal 3-D glasses.

Jen Yamato is on Twitter and will be sporting her own personal pair of cootie-free 3-D glasses at the multiplex.


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Tags: 3-d, 3-d glasses, Oakley