I’m not sure when we reached the point at which reality passed beyond satire, but it certainly had to be before Uwe Boll started making movies in the early ’90s, or else he never could have gotten started. A veritable master of bad movies, he could only exist in a world in which irony has gone on permanent vacation — the man cast bimbo party girl Tara Reid as an archaeologist and a museum curator in Alone in the Dark, fer pete’s sake [read my review].

And now he continues to demonstrate our universe’s total lack of appreciation for parody as a scheme by which the excesses and absurdities of the world may be commented upon by doing something with a straight face that previously would have been confined only to the realm of Mad magazine:

Tired of the criticism of his films, controversial German film director Uwe Boll took on four of his critics in a Vancouver boxing ring, and ended each bout with a knockout.

But it was all a joke, surely? Nope:

Jeff Sneider of Los Angeles, a journalist with Ain’t It Cool News, went down in a technical knockout in the first round after his trainer threw in the towel.

He said Boll, 41, had told him it was just a joke, a public relations stunt.

“Then he started beating the crap out of my head,” he said. “I think he’s a jerk. This might be PR but I don’t want to keep getting punched in the head.”

It’s hard to imagine that Boll managed to get 15 film critics to agree to this, but then again, this is the mindset of those who went mano a mano with Boll:

“I freaked him out exactly like I wanted to do, it was poetry. It was my Jedi mind trick to try and disorient him.”

That’s Chris Alexander of Rue Morgue radio and magazine speaking, but you’ll have to check out the AP-via-CNN article to find out what he did to Boll.

It’s all very childish, of course. Don’t they realize that they only encourage Boll by letting him take swings at them? If we just ignore him, like bullies deserve to be ignored, he’ll get tired and go away.

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MaryAnn Johanson
author of The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride
minder of FlickFilosopher.com