Salvation‘s Killer Climax Traded for Extra Helping of Cheese

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, director McG spilled the awesomely nihilistic original ending: John Connor dies, the machines put his face on Marcus Wright’s body, and when Kyle Reese, Kate Connor, and everybody else visit him in the hospital, he kills everyone in the room. “Fade to black. End of movie. Skynet wins. F@#k you!”

Verdict: Come on, blockbusters are never surprising, this would have been huge! The sad thing is the studio even signed off, but McG started counting his sequels before they were hatched and got cold feet about killing off what he thought was going to be the cash cow of the century. Should have gone with Christian Bale. He wanted to do the original.

“It’s Your One-Way Ticket to Midnight — Heavy Metal”

The animated cult classic Heavy Metal compiled a handful of shorts from different directors into a loose narrative, with music from Devo, Blue Oyster Cult, and Cheap Trick. The remake has been gathering steam for a while, and so far James Cameron, David Fincher, Zack Snyder, and Gore Verbinski are all on board, along with the director of Kung Fu Panda and Jack Black doing a comedy piece.

Verdict: Wow. I love the original Heavy Metal, and I still can’t believe they managed to get names like this. (Let’s say we all just agree to forget that Heavy Metal 2000 ever happened.)

Maybe He’ll Call It Inglourious Bas

Tarantino‘s never been shy about himself, but this time around he’s one of the few calling Inglourious Basterds a “masterpiece.” After its mixed reception at Cannes the philistines at Universal and Weinstein asked him to hack off 40 minutes, a full quarter of the film.

Verdict: I wasn’t wowed by the script when it was leaked last year; in fact, I was one of those totally wrong people who thought it was all a hoax. (In my defense, it did have things like “congregational medal of honor” and “You bet your sweet ass that got her attention” in the stage directions.) And hey, there’s nothing wrong with tightening up a story.

The Smurfs Hit the Big Screen. Smurfing Finally.

A live-action/CG Smurfs movie is on the way, with the writers behind Shreks 2 and 3 working on the script, so expect lots of stale pop-culture references. Man, it’s going to be awesome when Brainy Smurf does that floating thing from The Matrix.

Verdict: It’ll be off the smurf if they get Eddie Murphy to play Jokey.

As Long as It’s Not Boo’s Teen Pregnancy, We’re Good

At a licensing trade show, Disney aficionado Jim Hill reported hearing several comments from buyers who’d been “sworn to secrecy” that Up director Pete Docter‘s next project is Monsters Inc. 2. (H/t Collider)

Verdict: Monsters is way up there in my Pixar favorites, and they seem to be one of the few studios capable of turning out sequels that don’t make me want to throw cinder blocks at the screen. So hey, I’m excited.

Tags: inglourious basterds, pixar animation, terminator: salvation