The Return of Baywatch, This Time as a Comedy
The global hit that spawned Pamela Anderson, Erika Eleniak (I promise, she used to be huge), and millions of awkward adolescent fantasies is headed for the big screen. But not just as a standard update; the idea is to poke fun at the show’s silliness, and the writer’s last job was as a rewrite guy on The Hangover.
Verdict: This is the one way this might work. For all its ridiculous premises and tiny swimsuits, the show took itself way too seriously, with lots of moral lessons and regrettable “very special episodes.” (Chance that David Hasselhoff will be in it? One hundred percent.)

Mel Gibson to Co-star With a Hand Puppet, in a Movie Named The Beaver
From drunken rants to sex scandals and surprise love children, Mel Gibson‘s been on kind of a roller coaster. Next up he’ll play a depressed guy whose only happiness comes from talking to the hand puppet he wears. Jodie Foster is set to direct and play Gibson’s wife.
Verdict: For Mel, this actually sounds kind of normal.

Who Will Watch Watchmen Again? Anybody?
Zack Snyder‘s epic adaptation is about to get even more epic — twenty-five minutes more epic, to be exact. The new director’s cut that he says will be “considerably more violent” will run for a week in just four theaters starting July 17.
Verdict: Watchmen split the audience, but even though I was a fan, and I’ll be picking up the director’s cut, putting it in theaters seems excessive.

B.A. Baracus Rumor of the Week: The Game
The A-Team movie barrels along toward inevitability, with Liam Neeson in talks to play Hannibal and Bradley Cooper as Faceman. But the hardest shoes to fill may be Mr. T‘s; seriously, how could you make a guy like that up? The latest rumor, from a “highly reliable source,” is L.A. rapper The Game.
Verdict: No way. I don’t know who they’ll find, but it won’t be The Game.

Tags: baywatch, mel gibson, the a-team, watchmen