Adam (Paul Rudd), a nerdy guard, and Evelyn (Rachel Weisz), a cool art student, meet at a museum exhibit. He tries to stop her from defacing a statue. No luck. But she takes him to bed, whispering wicked-sexy things new to this fat-assed loser. He introduces her to his college buds: Philip (Frederick Weller), a jock, and Jenny (Gretchen Mol), Philip's fiancee. They don't like Evelyn, who makes over Adam with hair, diet, designer threads and a nose job. Then, bam! He's such a stud, even Jenny…

The almost-too-clinical way Neil Labute's The Shape of Things makes its main point follows the title to a tee: it's all about how we perceive and shape things. Take undergraduate English major Adam (Paul Rudd), for example. He is your typical nerd, slightly overweight, his hair generally unkempt; he wears baggy pants and a worn-down corduroy jacket. Clearly he's in desperate need of some shaping (or at least a stylist). His sculptor? Unconventional graduate art student Evelyn (Rachel Weisz), who…