Joe and Mary, a pair of live-in lovers, have reached an impasse in their long-term relationship. Joe is an aspiring actor who earns a meager income as a waiter for a catering company while Mary is a successful make-up artist on high-fashion photo shoots. Mary wants to stop supporting Joe; however, Joe is obsessed with becoming a "real" actor. Joe's fellow actor/waiter Bob is totally obsessed with something else: the need to find a "real blonde," a natural golden girl who doesn't get her beauty from a bottle. Bob's pursuit leads him to his soap opera co-star Kelly, to supermodel Sahara, both of whom dye their hair. Meanwhile, Mary is trying to work through her frustrations with her psychiatrist Dr Leuter, who sends her to a self-defense class taught by Doug. Joe has recently sacrificed his integrity to get a gig as an extra in a Madonna video and is soon led into temptation by Tina, a professional Madonna body double and possible "real blonde" who constantly crosses his path.