Guru Pitka was once an ordinary American child, until his family left him at the gates of an Indian ashram to be raised by the exhaulted Guru Tugginmypuddha. Growing up in the small fishing village of Harenmahkeester, Pitka was schooled in the inner secrets of spiritual attainment along with his friend and sole rival, Deepak Chopra. But now, Chopra is a massive celebrity in America, and Pitka is still playing second-fiddle without even an “Oprah” episode on his resume. Determined to share his unending insights into the nature of life and get famous to boot, Pitka responds to a fateful call for help from Jane Bullard, owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team. It seems her star player, Darren Roanoke has gone overnight from being a big hero to a big zero-scorer because his wife, Prudence, left him and is now dating the L.A. Kings’ legendary goalie, Jacques “Le Coq” Grande. Pitka’s new quest--to restore loving bliss between Darren and Prudence and attain the celestial heights of the Stanley Cup--will challenge everything he thought he knew about the inner workings of truth, love, happiness and hockey.