It is very difficult not to sympathize with Schneider's character in this film. With his big droopy eyes, you almost get the impression that even Schneider feels sorry for Marvin. And even though his lines are not inherently funny and the delivery is slightly blasé, his stunts are really rather amusing. He actually looks like a cheetah when he runs, and he licks his leg with the genuine elegance of a feline. And you have to respect Schneider for not taking the same route that so many other…

The Animal certainly reeks like something produced from a squatting position. Rob Schneider, fresh from playing a man-whore in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, stars as man-beast Marvin Mange, a cop wanna-be who survives a car accident after a mad scientist (Michael Caton) reconstructs his body with the internal organs of animals. Suddenly, Marvin is more interested in humping inanimate objects than in Rianna, a pet lover played by original Survivor cutie Colleen Haskell in what is charitably being…