Oh, why does this sound like just a cynical ploy to snatch more money out of the hands of all the good fanboys and fangirls everywhere? Sony Home Entertainment announced recently that the upcoming DVD release of Terminator Salvation will feature an R-rated “director’s cut.”

According to the MPAA via UGO, the DVD cut will be:

rated R for some violence and brief nudity

Yup, because brief nudity is what was needed to make this movie suck less.

As you may recall, the theatrical cut was rated PG-13 “for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and language.” I find it interesting that what qualifies as “intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action” in a PG-13 flick is merely “some violence” in an R-rated one. (I think it’s safe to assume that not only did McG not cut any of the mayhem from his preferred version of the film, he probably restored some.)

It’s the “brief nudity” that has me intrigued. I seem to recall, in the theatrical cut, some butt-nekkidness on the part of Sam Worthington‘s Marcus-man-machine, when he comes to in the rubble and starts to wander around looking for the coolest overcoat he can manage to dig up in the postnuclear world. But that could merely be wishful thinking on my part, that a Hollywood film might feature some nudity of an attractive masculine specimen, instead of that of a flabby, dorky goofball used for comic affect.

Far more likely, however, is that the DVD will include a scene Sony coerced McG to cut in order to get that PG-13 rating: the one featuring “Moon Bloodgood topless in the rain” that Peter Sciretta of /Film reported that he was made privy to on a set visit during the film’s production. Sciretta insists that the moment is “beautifully and tastefully shot” and not at all gratuitious — McG? Gratititous? Never! — Because we all know that people are going to look beautiful after the robot holocaust; it would be impossible not to photograph them tastefully.

The site Collider reported back in May that McG was promising that the DVD of the film would include another 30 to 40 minutes of footage — because bad movies can never be long enough. Fans, be warned: you’re probably not gonna be any happier with this version of the flick than you were with the one we saw in May. If this one was better, we’d have gotten it in the theaters then.

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MaryAnn Johanson is always rated R at FlickFilosopher.com. (email me)

Tags: mcg, moon bloodgood, terminator: salvation