“It would have been funny about 25 years ago.”

I’ve managed to see a few good films at The 2009 Sundance Film Festival … which is why Spring Breakdown was such a breath of fresh air. Pointless, plodding, and generally unfunny, this is the classic case of a film that probably never should have been screened. Unless the goal of the film was to bring Wilson Phillips back into the derision spotlight. In that case, they nailed it!

Amy Poehler, Parker Posey, and Rachel Dratch are a posse of nerd females in their 30′s. They’ve always been outcasts and they each have noticeable issues. Posey is a cat lady, Poehler is a reformed emotional eater, and Dratch is engaged to a gay fellow (Seth Meyers). Keep these themes in mind, as they will be bludgeoned into your brain for the entire 84-minute running time. The plot itself actually involves Posey headed to spring break to watch over a Texas Senator’s daughter … but it’s definitely a half-hearted effort to tell the story throughout, so I won’t burden you with all the dull details.

The real tragedy of this movie is that it would have been funny if it had been released in the mid-’80s. It would have been innovative and interesting back then. Comedy evolves though, and if the root of laughter is surprise then there is very little of either to be found in this movie. Compared to recent efforts like Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall this one feels like a dinosaur. And not a cool dinosaur like a triceratops either.

Rumors fly fast and furious around the press office. The talk around Spring Breakdown was that it 1.) had been filmed two years prior; 2.) had a March DVD release date set; and 3) was now looking for theatrical distribution instead. Here’s hoping they stick with the DVD route so that another, worthier, film can find a home. There are a few chuckle-worthy lines and at least one funny singing number. But overall let us never speak of this again.

Grade: D+

Tags: amy poehler, parker posey, spring breakdown