Why The Lebowski Fest Is A Getaway Worth Digging.

Mid-July is full of many fun-time rituals for Americans: the start of summer camp for kids, reunion season for extended families, time to head to the beach for a lot of us -- and for those who are obsessed with the Coen brothers' film The Big Lebowski, it's time for the annual Lebowski Fest in Louisville, Kentucky.

If you're like me and you've been hiding under a rock for the past seven years, you're just hearing about this annual party weekend devoted to the Dude. But if you're at all in the know (which would be easy enough: the fest has received press in The New Yorker, Rolling Stone, Spin and every other with-it publication over the past seven years; there are now mini-outpost fests around the world, even a book on the phenomenon published by festival organizers and a documentary film) then you, well -- you're a dude that abides.

[This might be the right time to insert this disclaimer: If you've seen the movie The Big Lebowski then the inside jokes and language that are in this post make sense; if you haven't seen the movie, then you're a square. You need to lighten up, mellow out, and rent it already! ... And this post will seem annoyingly smug and cryptic to you. Sorry!]

It's not like I feel that I've wasted precious time in not attending The Lebowski Fest all these years, but I'm hoping to be able to get in on the action this July, should tickets not sell out (as they have in years past, apparently). I've never been into fan clubs; the Trekkie thing definitely confuses me, and I think adults who dress like Harry Potter characters at openings are weirdos. Why, then, would I want to go to a festival for fans?

Well, pour yourself a White Russian, fellow dude, put a Credence Clearwater tape in the cassette player -- okay, just play along, I know you haven't had a tape player since the '90s -- sit down on the rug that really pulls your living room together, and let's roll through the reasons why:

1.) I Could Really Use A Vacation Designed Around Laughing.
No matter what, the festival would be funny. The calendar of events includes a screening (of course), unlimited bowling at a Baptist-run bowling alley, a marmot toss, trivia contests, a Sheriff of Malibu County coffee mug toss, and a performance by Brian Posehn -- comedian, costar of The Sarah Silverman Program, and the guy who played that dorky mailman on Just Shoot Me. Whether this level of obsession with everything Lebowski would be ha-ha funny or whoa-this-is-creepy funny is yet to be determined. And this may be the best part: apparently, it's an unwritten rule (as Walter would say, "This isn't Nam! There are rules!") for attendees to use Big Lewbowski language throughout the fest.

2.) The Dude's Philosophy.
While Jeff Bridges characterizes the Dude as a hippy-dippy society dropout, there are some lessons to be learned from the stoner, thus the reason why so many festgoers are obsessed with him. The Dude's main goal is always to chill out. We could all learn how to take it easy -- how to abide, if you will. Spending a weekend honoring the values of slackerdom could be as good of a release as a trip to the spa or the psychotherapist.

3.) It's A Festival I Can Afford.
Lollapalooza, SXSW, Coachella, Cannes, Sundance, Tribeca -- sure, these sound like cool music-and-film festivals to attend, but I wouldn't know for sure 'cause I can't afford them. Passes to these hot entertainment industry events are in the hundreds. The Lebowski Fest, on the other hand, costs $15 to attend. Though you do need to bring your own bowling shoes.

4.) To See the Costumes.
It wouldn't be a Lebowski Fest without a costume contest. Viking girls looking like Maude Lebowski (played by Julianne Moore in the movie), the Jesus (played by John Turturro in the movie), Walter (played by John Goodman). I would dress up as the German Nihilist Woman (played by songstress Aimee Mann), which is to say I would wear all black and have to figure out a way to make it look like I was missing a toe. According to the Lebowski Fest Survival Guide, as published in Giant magazine, it's not cool to show up looking like the Dude, unless "you're a dead ringer."

5.) To Score Some Key Lebowski Fest Loot.
First purchase would have to be an Achievers t-shirt. Then some bumper stickers would be on the must-have list -- definitely the ones with these slogans: "Careful, man, there's a beverage here!" and "The Dude is not in." Other hot items: a t-shirt that says "I can get you a toe" and a poster of Nixon bowling. Sure, I could just go to the festival website and purchase these items, but it's always better to see them in person.

Yet another reason to go? It's the 10th anniversary of the release of the film. Even if I don't get to the festival, I will certainly boot up the DVD to commemorate a decade of having the Dude in my consciousness.

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