Who's Up, Who's Down: Spielberg, Critics

Steven Spielberg contacted the F.B.I. last week after discovering that a Norman Rockwell painting he owned, "Russian Schoolroom," was stolen thirty years ago. Spielberg, a big Rockwell collector, reportedly purchased the piece from a legal auction in 1989. A staff member remembered the painting from an F.B.I. website that lists stolen works of art and pointed it out to the boss.

Two things. One: I'd like to have my own staff. All's I got right now is a neighbor who lets me know when my tires are low and unreliable cable. Two: Who peruses the F.B.I.'s stolen works website for kicks? Anyway, as soon as he was informed, the Oscar-winning director promptly made the call to the authorities. This is not the first time Spielberg's made the news over stolen property. There was that business involving the Ark of the Covenant years ago. Come on, I had to get an Indiana Jones comment in there somehow.

This didn't take long ... it looks like the Geico cavemen are getting their own show (or a pilot anyway). Why not? My initial instinct is to make fun of this, but those commercials do bring a smile to my face. I think the universe is a slightly better place because of them. Also, I'm interested in seeing how far this one-joke concept can be taken before it's run into the ground. What's the over/under? I'm saying four episodes. Six, max. But hey, I'd watch it until then.

How do you say "in over your head" in Vietnamese? Angelina Jolie is getting ready to adopt a Vietnamese baby. The child would be Jolie's fourth (and third adoption). Major props to Jolie for using her stardom and wealth to make a difference, seriously. I just wonder if this was all more than what Pitt bargained for. My problem is that I still sometimes see Pitt as Floyd, the guy he played in True Romance and not the three-dimensional person he must be in reality. My image of the guy is someone who just wants to chill out on the couch, watch cartoons and play PS3 all day. If he is that person, I'm not putting him down, I hang out with those people ... okay, I am those people.

Critics, peeps, I feel ya. You loved Zodiac, I loved Zodiac. It struggled this week. You really dug Black Snake Moan too, and where did that get you? A measly $4 million. You hated Wild Hogs even more than you did Ghost Rider (this movie must really suck), and yet Joe Public spoke with his dollar and told you to go stuff it ($38 million this weekend). It's rough. But cheer up, buckaroo. Life goes on. Next week you have a good chance of responding positively to 300, and America will make you proud at the cineplex if you do.

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Dre writes five times a week for Film.com, covering movies and DVD with his Floridian flare. E-mail him!

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